{un}titled

Migraine Cure...

2012-02-07T08:41:00.003-05:00

I came home one day last week with a migraine brewing. I told Quinn I'd be in bed and pulled the shade and climbed under a blanket within 60 seconds of walking in the door.

Quinn proceeded with her regular cure - a Webkin on my forehead. Only this time she grabbed several because, as I heard her whisper while was placing them around me, "everyone knows deer are good for migraines!"

After taking a picture of me, she crawled up and curled next to me and kept very still. Then she very quietly asked, "Do people die from migraines?"

I managed to force out the word, "No!"

I felt her little body relax and she said, "Okay, good."

I'm sorry Southern Ohio...

2012-02-03T17:14:00.002-05:00

It's all my fault.

This is outside in the play area at school.

I am certain I have jinxed the winter of 2012. I just had to buy that new ski jacket. And that new ankle length coat for car line. And that new pair of Uggs.

And the purchase that sealed our fate - family passes to the little ski resort near our house.

So instead of being toasty warm in my new coat and shoes, and frolicking on the ski slopes in my new jacket, I have been outside without a coat and driving with my windows down in January and February.

It's completely bananas.

Don't move the cat...

2012-02-01T07:31:00.003-05:00

There a few things in this house that give automatic exemptions to Quinn, Jimmy and me.

Their names are Martha, Eunice and Olive.

We get to ask someone else to wait on us by uttering seven little words.

"I have a cat in my lap."

I need a drink but I have a cat in my lap. Will you answer the phone? I have a cat in my lap. Throw me the remote. I have a cat in my lap. Sorry, I can't do whatever it is you need me to do right now. I have a cat in my lap.

And we don't have to make our beds if there happens to be a cat sleeping there.

Quinn qualifies for this exemption quite often because Eunice sleeps with her and is generally still there when Quinn goes to make her bed. To her credit, Quinn straightens around Eunice as much as she can, taking care to not disturb Her Highness.

That's right. You heard her. You are dismissed.

I shall now share a shocking secret about making our beds in this house. It's highly controversial but sincerely life changing.

We don't use flat sheets!

What?!

I know. But you should try it. Talk about revolutionizing laundry, the process of changing out sheets, and the job of making beds everyday.

And even the whole issue of sleeping.

I cannot stand a flat sheet tucked in around my feet. I have to have it pulled out so my feet can move around and stick out the side of the bed if they want. But then the flat sheet gets all twisted and shoved around and 90% of all mornings I had to dig it out from the bottom of the bed and straighten it and tuck it in to make the bed, only to kick it around and not sleep with it the next night.

A few years ago I decided to forget that whole nonsense and yanked it off the bed entirely. I bought an amazingly fabulously soft duvet cover - 1000X nicer than any top sheet I've ever slept under - and it gets washed once a week like our flat sheet used to. Of course, we have a fitted sheet. And our entire bed is clean, not just the sheets. And it takes two seconds to straighten the comforter to make the bed in the mornings.

And life is wonderful.

I did the same thing for Quinn's bed. But didn't mess with the guest bed. There is still a fitted sheet, flat sheet, and blanket under the comforter. I don't want people to stay here thinking that we've lost our minds over our bedding.

There's more...

2012-01-26T10:03:00.003-05:00

But first, a cute photo. From when else, but 2011.

Olive. Relaxing with a stingray and a buffalo.

I had to end my post about my day at MAC with the mouse story. But there was more.

At one point lights were turned off. It was time for music. (All extra subjects are on just one and a half days of the week - to allow for less interruption and extended work time on all the other days). No one made a corporate announcement a la, "Okay everyone, clean up your stuff. It's time for music." Children just started getting up and leaving the room. Other children kept working until they came to a reasonable place for them to stop. Then they got up. They didn't stand in two lines at the door - one for girls and one for boys. They didn't wait until everyone was quiet with their hands to themselves. They just left the room and walked themselves independently to the music room. Down the hall, turn the corner, down another hall, turn another corner. And they talked to each other as they walked.

Music class blew. me. away. The class started with the teacher playing some notes on the recorder and the children repeated after her. No sheets of music. Completely by ear. A tune they had not heard before. She went bar by bar and continued repeating until they had learned a whole song. In no time flat. Then they got behind an entire class set of big xylophones - not the kind from Fisher-Price. She taught them another song, bar by bar. Then some people played the earlier tune on their recorders. And then another group learned a different xylophone tune. Then three tunes were all being played at the same time and it was amazing.

At one point during music class I asked Quinn what happens if you have to go to the bathroom. She said, "Just get up and go to the bathroom." I kind of knew this but she likes to tell me new things so I said, "What? No pass? No permission?" She thought I was being silly and kept saying, "No. Just go!"

Part of the work in her planner for each day is called Corrections. Work is never finished until it's understood. You don't just hand in work, and have it handed back with incorrect answers marked and a grade at the top and then take it home. There is no grade. There is understood and not understood. You don't move on until it's mastered. And the work assigned to each child's planner is based on whether or not more one-on-one with the teacher and more practice is necessary or whether something new can be introduced. At each child's level. At each child's pace. Looking around the room at any given time there are fraction materials and division materials, and probability materials and addition materials, and multiplication materials and clocks and money, etc., being used by individual children. And those are being used while children are symbolizing sentences on rugs, or adding suffixes to a column of verbs on a rug and changing them to different tenses, and on and on and on.

I've worked in traditional public education. I've worked in crowd control, and teaching to the test, and thirty children all working on page 136 in the math book, and cover your work, and don't talk, and stop concentrating because the bell rang and you have to switch rooms for another subject, and walking in gender specific lines and sssssshhhhhh-ing in the hallway, and permission to pee one-at-a-time because we can't trust kids to go to the bathroom when they need to and be in the bathroom the same time someone else is.

It makes me crazy and I wish I could wave a magic wand and make every school a Montessori school and give every child a different kind of education. I get mad when I think that it can't be available to everyone. Seriously mad. And then sad.

And then I shut up because I don't know what to do about it.

Wordless Wednesday...

2012-01-25T21:12:00.002-05:00

Worth it...

2012-01-24T11:00:00.003-05:00

My friend sent me this photo from a vacation years ago. We were on Bald Head Island for the day. He captioned it "Boys are Stupid!" It's one of my favorite photos.

You are now free to go. The rest of this post will be about Parent Visiting Day at Quinn's school and more than likely of zero interest to anyone who is not me.

So, you know I have definite idea about education. And what I allow myself to say out loud is probably 5% of what I believe in my soul. It's a definite struggle. And I don't think any system is perfect. Montessori schools have their issues. Quinn's school has its issues. I've agonized over them. And over the tuition.

But on Thursday morning of last week, I left Quinn's school after spending the morning with her and was just positive it was the absolute best place possible for her. I vowed, at least for that day, not to add up the tuition we've paid over the years and gag while mentally spending it several other ways.

She was so at home there. So confident with herself. So comfortable with her teachers and her peers. So in charge of her day and her work and her choices. It was heartwarming.

Yes, school was heartwarming.

The students enter and sit on couches or pillows while talking to each other. There is also movement and a peaceful hum. No one is ordered around. No teacher is directing the day. There is a white board with information about the day for the kids to check, but they all know what to do and how to get started independently. It helps that her classroom is physically the size of eight of the classrooms in which I used to spend the day with nearly thirty children. And there are 20 children and two teachers in that same space here.

Quinn walked from place to place in her usual run/walk/hop hunched over style. She was never told to "WALK!" She talked with friends. She was never told to "SHHHHH! STOP TALKING!" She got her planner and arranged her day. She got the materials she needed and informed me that she usually chooses a one person work space in the back area where the couches are. This is an improvement from when her favorite place to work was to sit in the windowsill of her classroom last year. She got us two pillows and plopped them down. We got down on the pillows and worked on our bellies. There were two kids next to us, working together, exactly the same way. Four girls were sitting cross legged together working at a large low table and there were two other children who chose a regular height table with chairs. I couldn't see the other areas of the room, but this scene was repeated in them as well.

We worked together on our own for a while until it was time for morning meeting. We went to another area of the classroom and sat on the floor in a big circle. The kids sat and talked together for a while. The teachers shared a little about the day. Some children shared articles they found and everyone discussed them. They were currently talking about the Italian cruise ship wreck. They discussed respectfully with no one raising hands to be called on to talk. Teachers allowed the conversation to take several twists while offering other viewpoints without lecturing at all. The classroom is made up of several age groups, and ethnic groups, and pretty equal in gender. It was such a different experience for me. And I've worked with this age group of children for years. The environment is just set up so differently that it allows for completely different interactions between children and children, and children and adults, etc. I truly loved it.

We went back to work. We were solving a logic problem together when another girl walked by and gave us a helpful clue we hadn't discovered yet. The two boys working together next to us said, "Oh yeah! That makes sense!" We all continued working and sharing helpful information. No one told us to stop cheating or to cover our work. Collaboration is encouraged. And magically, it's not abused in the environment either. These kids have been taught how to help each other, but not do for each other, since their days in the PrePrimary wing of this school. They get it. It's an atmosphere of no competition. No getting ahead on the backs of your classmates. No awards for standing out from and above others. No tests, no grades, no honor rolls. Although kids are known for their individual talents and strengths where they do stand out. But it's organic. Quinn is known as the creative and artistic one. The one with the neat ideas when it comes to projects. Classmates will seek her out for help in those areas.

At one point Quinn and three girls were sitting on rugs in a circle with one of the teachers. Quinn was working on prepositional phrases, M on the present perfect tense and A on idioms. They each had several reference materials around them and were listening to the teacher and each other and completing their own work. It was beautiful. I learned something about infinitives that I never knew from the discussion. Another M was taking a break and was curled up in the rocking chair reading a book. She had worked that time into her schedule for the day. Another child was feeding the mice. He told another child that when he finished X, Y, and Z he was going to get the mice out and play with them.

Okay, ew to that, but still.

Happy dance...

2012-01-20T19:19:00.002-05:00

Do you want to see what made me unbelievably happy today?

Finding Blistex. The mint kind.

It kicks regular Blistex in the hind end. And I thought they had stopped making it. I couldn't find it anywhere.

I had used all the ones I had. Down to the very end. Until I was rubbing the hard plastic edge on my lips and then digging out whatever remained below that with my pinky fingernail.

And then I found one in my old snowboard coat. And there was much rejoicing.

And then I used it all.

And then even worse than that, I have several Chapsticks that I got for free with sales and coupons. I was making myself use them even though I got mad every time. Because they were free.

But I kept searching in every store I shopped in. I searched the grocery store, Target, and even...shudder...Walmart. There was only regular Blistex. Then today I was at our corner Ace Hardware. Of all places. And there was a tiny little container of Blistex at the register. And there was one glorious mint Blistex on the top. My heart seriously skipped a beat. I grabbed it. Then I dug through the entire container and came up with three more.

Halle to the lujah!

There was no price marked. And I didn't care.

It turns out they were $1.79. EACH.

Sometimes, free just isn't all it's cracked up to be.

And sometimes, spending nearly $8.00 on lip balm just makes better sense.

Can I get a witness?

I have a diagnosis...

2012-01-19T21:05:00.002-05:00

Fifteen years in the making.

Drumrollllllll...
I have been diagnosed with Sjogren's Syndrome.

Some stupid antibody is attacking me.

Completely unrelated photo because A) I hardly have any other photos to post, and B) the photos that go with this post would be of me passed out on the couch or me clutching my shoulder in pain after matching socks.

I was told, if you have to have an autoimmune disease, this is the one you want.

Yippeee!

Yet, I am not consoled. Some day, I will face this like a big girl. For right now I would like to continue to bury my head in the sand. If I can avoid thinking about and talking about it, it doesn't really exist, right. Except I've been taking my medicine for two weeks now and, if anything, my level of fatigue and pain has only gotten worse.

Seriously worse.

There is something very wrong when it hurts to fold laundry. And laundry refuses to be ignored!

After this post, I will no longer whine about this. How many photos of exhaustion can one blog support anyway?

Counting my blessings. Because I have an insane amount of those.

And reminding myself to take more photos!

...and I cannot lie...

2012-01-10T16:58:00.002-05:00

Clearly, I need to take some photos.

That's why I have nothing to write about. I haven't taken a photo of anything in 2012. And that's usually how I start writing.

Quinn took this of one of her favorite subjects and I found it in my phone. She was combing Olive and thought it was funny that she kept reaching through the spindles on the banister with her paw.

So there's that.

Which has nothing to do with today's blog post.

We have a new boy in school. He's four years old and English is his second language. His parents speak another language to him at home, although he's pretty proficient in both. Today he came up to me and said, "I like big butts!"

I said, "What?" Just try to picture my facial expression.

He repeated, while pointing to an oversized button on my sweater, "I like big butts!"

Who doesn't love an innocent butt story?

Happy New Year...

2012-01-05T09:18:00.003-05:00

1. We made it again this New Years Eve! Got the the ski resort at 4:00 PM. Left at 12:30 AM. Spent pretty much the whole time out on the slopes. Except for the part where we sat in the lodge and ate pizza and french fries. And that part where we waited for the lighted ski patrol countdown and the fireworks at midnight.

2. Quinn is an awesome little skier! We'd get off the lift and she'd be gone. Skiers can pretty much ski out of the chair and down the hill. Snowboarders have to do this annoying shuffle thing to a pretty flat area and lock their boots into their bindings before they can go down the slopes. So I couldn't catch Quinn at all the entire night.

3. I think I will make all blog posts into lists for 2012.

4. It was such a nice evening. We were on machine made snow in 50 degree weather. I bought a new ski coat for this season. I didn't wear it because it was so warm.

5. I have been wearing a hand-me-down men's XL ski coat for the past 12 years. I was due a new one.

6. The coat in the photo is not my new coat. That is actually a coat my friend Liz was going to donate to people in need. I could not find a lightweight coat that I liked that year. I promise I had looked. So while we were hanging donations at The Healing Center, I asked her if I could just take her coat instead of her donating it.

7. I can't believe I just admitted that in writing.

8. I have donated thousands of dollars of clothing and real dollars to The Healing Center. And I still feel a pang of guilt every time I wear that coat.

9. The one and only part of my new job that I dread is doing car line and playground time in the winter. I'm sure I've mentioned it before. I hate winter. I hate cold.

10. I bought a new long jacket and pair of snow boots at Land's End for $180.00 in anticipation of this winter outside. I finally got to wear the coat this week and hated it. I took it to Sears to return it and noticed the boots I bought were 60% off. The boots I had taken out of the box and worn for just 15 minutes the day before. I happened to have the receipt in the bag with the coat, but not the boots. I got to return the coat and they credited me for the boots.

11. So then I went to North Face where I had just bought my new ski coat that I wasn't crazy about. I picked out another ski coat, and a long coat for the playground. I had also found a pair of ski pants in the children's section of Target in an XL that fit me for $10.00.

12. So instead of one coat and one pair of boots for $180.00 I ended up with two coats, a pair of boots and a pair of ski pants for only $40.00 more.

13. The numbering thing is already getting old.

14. But try to write 14 things about skiing and coats. Just try it. I'll bet you can't.

Seriously, Bob...

2011-12-31T09:45:00.003-05:00

1. If I don't make my bed before I get in the shower, this is what greets me when I get out.

2. The rest of this list has nothing to do with Bob.

3. Quinn got her Kindle exactly 6 days ago and has already read 4 books of 300+ pages each.

4. I deleted my last blog post because I realize it made no sense and came out exactly the opposite of what I was thinking. Short summary - I love Christmas. I do not particularly love when it needs to be the same every year for it to feel like Christmas. I rail against that. I embrace change. I enjoy our Christmas tradition of not having Christmas traditions. I love it more. I am happy. Christmas is wonderful!

5. We are headed out to breakfast then to the ski slopes today. Oddly enough, to do exactly what we did to ring in 2011.

6. The Rose Parade is on the 2nd this year. I am very disappointed by that. Scratch everything I said above because New Years Day is NOT New Years Day without the Rose Parade.

7. I never knew there were so many people who do not watch, or even LIKE, the Rose Parade. What is wrong with people?

8. Happy New Year!

Thoughts on traditions...

2011-12-30T14:39:00.007-05:00

Quinn with the Kung Fu grip on her candle at Christmas Eve Service

Merry Christmas, Saraphim...

2011-12-23T15:06:00.003-05:00

This is Saraphim. Yes, that's how it's spelled.

We went to PAWS today, hoping to see Margo.

I've talked about Margo here before. She is a skinny, old, grumpy cat that has been living at PAWS since January of 2005. And she was a couple years old when she came to the shelter. I always felt sad that Margo would likely never be adopted. She would tolerate maybe two strokes of being petted before she would lash out with a claw. And she had sharp claws. I have the scars. She isn't pretty. She isn't nice. And she isn't young. So many strikes against her.

But when we showed up today Margo was listed on the board as in a foster home. Some sweet young girl agreed to foster her. As in take Margo home with her. The girl was warned that it was most likely a lifetime foster situation as probably no one would come looking for/wanting Margo. She understood and took her anyway.

Thank you, God, for people like her. Willing to take mean, ugly cats home with them.

We started a new Thanksgiving tradition where we give Quinn $100 and she decides where to donate that money before Christmas. We're hoping she'll eventually come up with her own ideas and interests and find new and unique ways of giving away the money, but for now she went with what she knows.

She spent a while deciding whether to give the money to PAWS, Kids Against Hunger, or the Healing Center - all places she has been volunteering for years. She went back and forth, finally deciding she wanted to "give the $100 to Margo". =)

So she settled on Saraphim instead.

Doesn't Saraphim look thrilled?

Merry Christmas, sweet kitty! And may you have a forever home in 2012!

An Ugly Christmas...

2011-12-21T12:20:00.005-05:00

These are Quinn's gifts to her five cousins. She first drew a picture of what she wanted each doll to look like. Then she transferred each design onto butcher paper in a 12X12 frame. She created the faces, gave them names, and made tags with bios for each doll (patterned after the little stories that come with the real Ugly Dolls).

I did the sewing.

That was the real miracle in the gifts. I had absolutely NO time to do these but it was one of those things that couldn't be left unfinished. They were the only gifts we were giving her cousins and Quinn put so much thought and creativity into them. They simply HAD to be made. We exchanged the first three on the weekend of the 10th. They were finished just in time.

The other two were put into the mail just hours ago for my two nieces who didn't visit that weekend.

I'm super proud of them, but mostly of Quinn. I could not have come up with five completely different ideas for dolls if I were paid to. I love how they have a piece of Quinn in each one. And they're seriously cute, no?

So, what's new...?

2011-12-15T07:52:00.005-05:00

I read this line on a friend's blog today. He's been blogging for ten years and wrote (of his blog), " I have given it more attention that I should at times…and less than I should at other times."

I haven't sat down to write in a while. I think I got a little tired of processing things out loud. I've only been writing this blog for a few years (too lazy to find out exactly how long) but I've done the same - talked WAY TOO MUCH at times and ignored it altogether at others. But I have tried to be 100% honest with it always.

Social media is funny. I read facebook and cringe. A lot. And I'm not saying people don't do the same reading my facebook or blog posts. I was looking back two years in my archives, trying to find a teacher Christmas gift post and kind of hated reading my old posts. It was like looking at photos from college. Me, but slightly embarrassing. I guess we can never really know how others "see" us through our words on either of those formats. And why are we putting so much of ourselves out there in the first place? Why do we REALLY choose that particular status update to share with hundreds of people? I mean, come on, if we're being completely honest...?

So I'm not sure how I'll go forward with my blog. I love when I get the chance to sit in this chair with a few minutes to post some poorly taken photos, type some random and probably poorly communicated thoughts, and send them out on the internet to wherever they land. And I'm not really sure why I do it.

But I was downloading photos from my camera, and as usual Quinn had used my camera. She had taken this photo of Eunice.

We love when the cats sleep like this - on the tops of their heads.

And speaking of photos from college, and being completely honest and all that (not just posting the photos where we look amazing), I give you Julee (and Desiree), 1985...

I'm the one wearing the garbage bag style overall shorts in a comic strip print, two coordinating tank tops underneath and colored socks with white Keds. I'm guessing my blue socks were in the laundry or I'd have layered those too. And I'm guessing no one ever told me that socks are not only ridiculous in the summer, but should never be worn over thick ankles underneath thick calves.

Now, that was worth coming back for!

Rough...

2011-11-18T10:48:00.003-05:00

This picture could be of any one of us over the last month. We've had it rough lately. And we've all taken turns being sick on the couch. This picture is from Wednesday, of Quinn and Eunice taking their turn.

This past month has been full of sickness. Jimmy got sick. I got sick. Then I had a bad week physically. Then I got sick again. Then Quinn got sick. And Eunice got sick.

I am currently hooking Eunice up to a bag of fluid every other day and cringing every time I have to grab her skin and poke a needle into her. But I would do it every hour if I was sure it would keep her here with us for a long time to come. The humans are slowly getting healthy and praying the feline does too.

This has all been happening in and around the worst month Jimmy has ever had at work. He traveled a lot. He has extra stress and extra responsibility and is using extra mental energy and time. I spent a week subbing in the morning and working in the afternoon and then going in during the morning to observe other weeks. I've had my regular class and an all day Communicable Diseases class last weekend (where it just so happens I picked up this current bug I have) and will be gone most of this weekend too. I've been getting ready for conferences coming up.

I completely forgot my niece's birthday last week and have given zero thought to Thanksgiving next week. It's amazing that I've made any meals at all. We were, until today, sharing one bar of soap between our two showers. It had gotten that bad.

We are in need of a break over here.

I used to think that being sick gave you reason for a break. But I've been sick so much lately I can't stand to think of one more day on the couch doing nothing. I'm going stir crazy and we haven't hit the months of real cabin fever yet. I'm not much in the mood for cozy wrapped in blankets drinking hot chocolate like I should be. And I normally live for that.

In all of this though, I can still see God's blessings on my family. And I'm learning to live in the midst of struggle instead of waiting until I get to the other side of it. I think that, alone, is huge.

Have a wonderful Friday!

Just some recent fun stuff...

2011-11-13T13:59:00.003-05:00

Bob and Martha. How sweet is this?

We've taught Bob that Martha is her kitty. We say, "Where's your kitty?" and she runs to find Martha. It is very cute.

Jimmy and I worked at the Halloween party at Quinn's school a few weeks ago. I despise dressing up, but since we'd be at the door collecting money as kids entered we figured we should do something. So I just went and bought some wigs. Quinn's picked out Jimmy's. It was attached to a hat. Mine smelled like plastic. Wheeeee!

Quinn has figured out how to continue her style into the winter. Tights under shorts! Brilliant.

Our friend Chris installed a zipline from the treehouse in his backyard over their pond to the other side. It is fun. I tried it at night. After a glass of wine. This is a video of Quinn. I was surprised she agreed to do it. The audio at the end cracks me up.

She told me the worst part was the fact that she had to wear a Barbie life jacket. That's my girl - so predictable.

S'more teachers...

2011-10-29T11:08:00.008-04:00

Quinn won a prize for Best Costume last night at her party - see post below. She was really happy that her costume was recognized and liked by her peers. And she won a $5.00 gift card to Graeter's!

On a side note, she is participating in her school's after school Lego Robotics League. They're building some kind of robotic Lego thing that they will take to a competition in December. There were several jobs to be applied for on her team. She had to fill out an official application for the top three jobs of her choice, complete with references and a paragraph on why she thought she would be a good fit for the job and any past experiences that qualify her for the position. She applied for the job of Graphics Designer, along with two others that were FAR down on her wish list, and was awarded that position. She has already designed the logo and the poster for her team for the day of competition. It is absolutely perfect for her. I didn't get a photo of the poster, but I was very impressed with it.

I shall now continue the streak of creative postings and show what Quinn and I put together for the teachers at her school on Wednesday night of this past week.

Jimmy was out of town and the evenings were long, so we filled them full with crafty projects!

My friend sent me a link from Pinterest - where I have so far successfully managed to steer clear. I can't imagine how many hours I'd spend looking through photos of things I love and must try to replicate.

But I had to do this one.

And, oh how I lament my crappy camera and bad lighting for taking photos. And the the hideous oak kitchen table. Don't get me started.

And of course, if anything looks cute by itself, then it looks exponentially cuter when made en masse!

We packaged 40 little single serve microwaveable S'more treats and piled them into two big bowls and put them in the teachers' lounge at Quinn's school with a little card thanking them for all they do there. The front of the bag topper says, "We need S'more teachers like you!" and the back has directions for making a single S'more in the microwave.

I got emails and facebook messages and several people coming up to me at the party last night raving about the cuteness and being so appreciative. It made my long and otherwise occasionally crappy week. I think that's one of the perks of your child attending a small school. Our family is known personally by every staff member and it's like a little, albeit disfunctional, family.

Here's the link to the printable. I believe the link takes you to the blog of the original creator of the project. There is only one bag topper on the page and it must be printed in color - the directions on the back are impossible to read if you try to print it with black ink only. So I printed one page from the link. I took it to a copy shop and had three more color copies made. I cut those apart and taped four to a page. Then I had ten pages printed out in color onto cardstock.

It wasn't a cheap project when all was said and done, but I found the candy bars on sale at Target (8 for $1) and the bowls were there for $1.50.

And it was far more fun to make and give than to worry about how much it cost to put together. And far cuter in person, but you'll have to take my word on that!

Costume by Quinn...

2011-10-28T11:39:00.000-04:00

When I dressed for Halloween as a child, all my costumes were home made. Not a purchased item to be found. I hated it.

When Quinn was little I was so happy to go all out for her costumes. Everything store bought. Her first fairy costume probably came close to $100 - dress, wings, shoes she walked a half mile in, wand, mask she never wore, hair thingy to match. The whole shebang. I loved it.

So what happens? Quinn grows up to dislike store bought things. Where did she come from?

This year, she wanted to be a Pokemon.

A moment of silence please for my sanity.

I cannot describe the depths of my hatred for all things Pokemon.

Again. Raising children to have their own minds and opinions is for the birds.

So Quinn designed her own costume. And it's brilliant, really. It's basically a take on what she wears every day - so she doesn't have to leave her comfort zone and wear something crazy. She still gets to be comfy in a pair of shorts, a long sleeved tee shirt, a pair of knee socks and a pony tail.

And I've got to hand it to her. Of all Pokemon, she did choose one of the only cute ones.

I give you Shaymin. And I may not have spelled that correctly.

And I give you Quinn.

Back view. Her Shaymin will, of course, have to stand.

Front view.
Side view.
I think you get the picture, but I had to include this one because I love how she's still holding up the peace sign and you can see it in the shadow.

We shopped for the fabric, she drew the leaves (I think that's what they are) and the flowers. She cut them out. I sewed the leaves onto a shirt and the flowers onto hair clips and we had a great couple of nights together talking and cutting and sewing.

And it was worth it.

I'll take this creative girl with her own ideas over a store bought fairy any day.

You've been doing big things since the world began...

2011-10-26T09:40:00.004-04:00

You're big enough...

and I don't want to box You in.

TURN IT UP!

So tired...

2011-10-15T10:54:00.002-04:00

This is me lately.

If I stop moving, I fall asleep.

I don't even remember this. Jimmy obviously took the photo.

I vaguely remember sitting down one day and Quinn putting a pillow in my lap. There may have been a football game on. We may have just come back from eating out. I really don't know. But I remember Quinn snuggling up with a blanket and a book on one side of me, a warm purring kitty on the other side, and me laying my head back on the cushion.

I'm sure it was approximately one minute and ten seconds before I was completely asleep.

I feel my eyes wanting to close now as I type. Must get up and start to move.

Old photographs...

2011-10-13T09:56:00.003-04:00

Quinn and her best friend Cameron at four years old - Ocean Isle Beach, 2006

Eunice, we're going to need ten more years out of you...

2011-10-11T09:24:00.002-04:00

At the very least.

That's not too much to ask from a 13 year old cat, is it?

If being adored and pampered adds years to your life, Eunice should live to be 100.

I wish the people who surrendered her to the shelter when she was three years old could see her now! I don't know why her previous family couldn't keep her. I wonder if they wonder about her. Eunice spent five years at the shelter waiting for Quinn. And she is making up for lost time without asking. Eunice has an entitlement about her that is heartwarming. She knows she deserves this.

Quinn wouldn't move her legs to disturb Eunice. She laid down the best she could and I turned out her light for her. She fell asleep accommodating a tired, old, grumpy cat.

Now that's the very definition of love.

Back to Summer...

2011-10-10T09:34:00.004-04:00

I love Summer. I think I've established that. I leave it kicking and screaming. Quinn home from school. Vacations. Beaches. Sun. Slower pace. Shorts and tank tops. The pool. Being outside. Staying light outside well into the evening.

Sigh.

But I do love Autumn too. We've had a gorgeous week of sun and weather in the high 70s. I went for a run in just shorts and a bra top and got to sweat out in the sun while running through crunchy brown leaves. That was wonderful.

I'm learning to love Winter. Aside from the fact that I am freezing 100% of time, I look forward to it for the snowboarding trips. This year we bought season passes to our local ski resort (which is a joke since we're in southern Ohio and the ski season is as short as the "mountains" here) and can't wait to spend even more time together as a family out in the snow.

Spring, eh. Again with the southern Ohio. We don't really get Spring. We get the end of winter drawn out forever.

But, back to summer. I bottled up some of my favorite parts of this summer and have them on the bookshelf in my bedroom.

Ahhhhhhh. It's like the peacefulness I get while staring into a fire.

Sea glass from Lake Erie's Linwood Beach in Vermilion, Ohio. (And a cat hair!)

My best friend when I was little had a gigantic container of sea glass on a table in the entryway of her home. They collected it every summer while visiting her grandparents in New Jersey. I was always so enthralled with it. I never touched it. I would just look at it all the time.

I grew up two blocks from Lake Erie. When I bought my first house I was one block from Lake Erie. I woke up in the summer to the sound of jet skis on the lake. How did I not collect this on my own before this summer?

Sand from Marco Island off the coast of Florida. One of the most beautiful beaches I've ever stepped foot on. It looked like snow. It was so white and clean and soft.

Shells from that beach. I'm not really a shell collector. I should post Quinn's collection some day. My girl loves her shells. But these were the prettiest colors - lots of cranberry, gray and pure white. I love these shells.

I had some sand from Prince Edward Island as well. The sand there is red like the clay that makes up the island. But I forgot about it in its bottle and it got moldy. =(

I miss summer so much I could cry right now as I sit in my sweatshirt and look out the window at the gray day out there.

Sigh.

Ugly Doll...

2011-10-08T12:16:00.005-04:00

Have you seen Ugly Dolls? If not, you have to go to the link before you read the rest of this. If you don't, you'll read and think, "How odd!"

Even if you have seen them in the past, click on the link anyway so you can compare.

Quinn is going to a birthday party sleepover today for her best friend. Amelia spent the night here last weekend and was talking about how she wanted an Ugly Doll. I looked them up and did what all people with the slightest bit of crafting knowledge always do when they see something that costs $20.00 that can be made for two hours and $3.00. I said, "Oh, I can make that!"

I know some kids want the real thing. With the real tag and the real name somewhere on it. But these girls are crafty themselves. They made their own teeshirts last weekend and loved them with all the imperfections and everything - because they made them.

So Quinn looked through the website of different dolls and then designed her own. She drew the outline and I cut it out and pinned it to doubled over jersey-fleecy type fabric. Then I drew an outline around it, leaving about a quarter inch for stitching.

Then I cut it out.
I forgot the step when I had sewn the face on, but you can see the stitching on the back of this one where I layered them and pinned them together. Quinn designed the face too and oversaw the placement so it resembled the ones on the website. "No, a thinner mouth. Can you make it shorter. Tongue on the side. No, tongue in the middle. Eyes closer together and lower."

Then I sewed and flipped it inside out. I almost forgot to photograph this step. I had already started stuffing it.
I stitched up the hole where the stuffing went in.

And voila! Personalized Ugly Doll. Created specifically for Amelia. Designed by Quinn. (The Ugly Gate is keeping Bob and her hair out of the room while we sew!)

And then I whipped up a matching card.

So easy and so cute and Quinn didn't want to stop hugging it so we could wrap it. We're making one for her too so they can have matching ones for sleepovers. Amelia's favorite color is orange and Quinn's is blue, so Quinn's Ugly Doll will be from the same pattern but with blue fabric.

How cute is that?!

My Happy Place...

2011-10-05T09:15:00.003-04:00

Really, it's just a happy shelf.

And yes, I already got up after posting this photo to go and straighten the jar on the right.

I really just needed a photo for this post, because it's about my mammogram this morning - and the only photos available are the dark and grainy ones seen only by medical professionals.

I was nowhere near my happy place today. I was in my panic filled humiliating place. And what better place to share my humiliation that the world wide web.

This was my third mammogram this year. I kept getting called back for follow up images. I typically don't get bent out of shape about news like this. I follow the advice of the great Atticus Finch. Now is not the time to worry. And for the purpose of this story, that information is only important to establish the fact that my radiologist lady recognizes me after this many visits. She's super friendly and familiar and personable. Everything you want in someone you have to be naked with and felt up by.

She tells me that she notices I've lost weight since my last visit. Great. Now, in addition to being freezing cold, I feel like I'm in trouble. I am instantly ten years old and being made to stand on the scale in front of my siblings while my parents then tell me how skinny I am. I wish I were kidding.

So I do one of three things I always do when my weight becomes a topic. I ignore. I make a joke. Or I nervously share way too much information.

I instantly start telling her how my schedule has changed and I forget to eat and that I lose weight with the slightest hint of stress - even good stress, etc. I feel like since I'm in a hospital surrounded by mandated reporters that she's going to ask me if I feel safe at home and to blink three times if I'm in danger there.

She stares at me and says, "That's okay honey. It's just good to know for compression levels (or something, I don't really know what she said) that's all."

So now, I'm beginning to regret not eating breakfast before my appointment. I always ask for the first one since I can't stand going without deodorant for any longer than necessary. As soon as I become aware of that thought, I start feeling faint. The image I was standing for was finished and the compression plate lifted and when I exhaled I thought I would pass out.

At a flipping mammogram! Who does that?

I got all shaky and short of breath and asked to sit down. Now I'm feeling overly dramatic and completely embarrassed and the worst thing ever starts to happen.

She starts making a fuss over me.

I abhor unnecessary attention focused on me. It actually does the exact opposite of calming me. It starts to make me panic and feel like I'm going to cry.

I start to babble that I'm really okay, just a little shaky, just a little hungry, could we please just finish, I'm fine really, please.

She tells me I look pale and feel clammy. She gets on the phone and calls the nurses station for a drink and some crackers. She asks every two seconds how I am feeling. She makes me walk to a little sitting area, aided by a nurse who shows up to bring me a plate of crackers with a little container of peanut butter and a Ginger Ale. She opens everything for me and asks if I want her to prepare the crackers for me. I feel ten years old yet again, with adults standing over me making me eat food I don't want to eat. I mechanically munch down the crackers, afraid to not eat them.

I am completely flustered at this moment and my radiologist lady brings me a rose. I guess it's Breast Awareness month or something and everyone who gets a mammogram gets a rose.

People are being too nice to me and fussing over me and making me do stuff and I feel like I have no control over the situation. I start to panic which makes me start to cry. If you only knew how much that humiliates me. I don't like to cry under actual tear inducing situations. Certainly not during a mammogram that I usually have no problems with. I encourage other people to go. They don't hurt. They're not weird. It's like renewing your driver's license. A minor inconvenience.

Anyway. I feel better. I finish the mammogram. I walk out with my rose. I feel like a complete baby.

I take myself to Panera and get a Croissant and a Cranberry Orange Muffin.

And I shouldn't have to go back for another year this time. And hopefully, we'll have both forgotten all about this.

Amen.

Sleeping dogs...

2011-09-30T08:28:00.004-04:00

I was in my bathroom yesterday and looked out to see Bob laying on my bed, resting her little head on the pillow and looking out the window. It was so cute.

I tiptoed out of the room and gave her the STAY hand. Otherwise she would follow me. Even if it's just a few steps down the hall to the linen closet. She'd jump down, follow my few steps, turn around, follow me back, then jump back up on the bed.

Except this time I wanted to grab my camera and take a picture of her.

Except of course she had to raise her head and be all worried about where I was going and why I told her she couldn't come with me.

So I couldn't get the cute photo. Instead, she kept looking at me every time I clicked the camera open.
So I kept the camera on the counter top and tried to sneak back out when she laid her head back down.
Nope. Busted.

Third try.

She laid her head back down, but not like before when she was looking out the window. You'll just have to trust me. It was very cute.

Disclaimers - no, my bedroom is STILL not finished.

I have the crown molding ready to put up. I painted it on July 4th.

I have the fabric for the curtains - raspberry silk. It's going to be fabulous. Some day.

I need some sort of bed skirt to cover the box springs and the support legs on the bed. Maybe. I super hate bed skirts.

I need stuff on the walls. I've got ideas. In my head.

Slowest project ever.

That face...

2011-09-29T08:51:00.003-04:00

Quinn's usual photo face is partly obscured by Eunice's enormous belly. (And she's not our biggest cat!)

Here it is.

The face I love more than all others.

And I almost caught a normal smile! It's underneath the blur, so I'm keeping this photo anyway!
The double socks. Love them.

September 24th...

2011-09-28T08:09:00.006-04:00

We had a crazy couple of days this past weekend.

On Friday night, Quinn went to a friend's house to watch a movie and Jimmy and I went out to dinner at a great little Italian Restaurant near us where we had a Frank Sinatra song played for us on the violin tableside. I usually hate stuff like that, but the violinist was close to 100 years old and was so sweet I actually didn't mind.

On Saturday morning we all went and volunteered at one of our favorite activities. Then Quinn went to a birthday party and as soon as she got home she had a friend over for a sleepover and we all went to an outdoor movie night at a community ballpark and wrapped up in the outfield and drank hot chocolate.

On Sunday we took her friend home and Quinn went to another birthday party, then I went out to dinner with some friends. We all crashed hard Sunday night.

Somewhere in the midst of all that, I turned 45. Wheeeeeeeee!

And to celebrate my birthday, Kids Against Hunger had a grand opening for their new factory just around the corner from my house. Except they didn't know it was my birthday. But that's okay.

I could not have chosen a better way to spend part of that day.

If someone else wants to do the measuring job, they have to take Quinn down first. She loves doing that job and she'll stand in one spot at her little scale for two hours and measure her little heart out with no complaints.

My husband in a hair net. Awesome.

If you know me well, you know I don't get all into celebrating myself just because I happen to have been born. I feel special enough just being here. I don't need a day. So this was awesome.

We packed 85,000 meals that will be shipped to the Horn of Africa to help in the efforts against the horrific famine there. Such a more important activity to put our time and resources toward.

And if you really need to be convinced of that, please make yourself take the time to click on this link. You will be forever changed. How would you NOT want to be at the doors of Kids Against Hunger every time they're open?

Click the link. Watch the video. If you love me - do it for my birthday. Please. We have NO idea.

Planner Addiction...

2011-09-21T11:06:00.002-04:00

Whoa! Why so small? Maybe that's good. The details aren't important.

The fact that I have two paper planners and one in my phone might say something about me though.

I cannot give up my paper planners! One is monthly and I need to see my month like that. And I like to write in different colors of marker. The other is weekly and I need space to fill in all my tasks for the day. I do this by the week and have an important system of what things go on what day to maximize my time. This one is absolutely necessary to my peace of mind and feelings of usefulness and productivity.

I have started to love the calendar in my phone as well. And since it's also on the laptop on my desk, I can type in everything from my paper calendars. But yesterday I was out, Jimmy texted a question about my schedule, I consulted my phone and texted right back. All while I was at a stoplight! I can also be in class or at an appointment and schedule something right there on my phone!

The other planner is Quinn's. I like to pass my addiction, I mean organizational skills on to her. I started helping her with time management with her responsibilities long before she could even read. We have had with charts with clip art, white board weekly calendars on the refrigerator, lists in her bedroom, etc. She's had this planner for a while. We've used it for her daily responsibilities and she has even started filling things in on her own - like when to water the plants she bought, etc. It's very cute.

Long live the planner - paper or otherwise!

(I have all my responsibilities crossed off for today, so I'm wasting a little time! Yippeeeee!)

Stress...

2011-09-12T10:42:00.002-04:00

Last week was rough.

This is the only photo I managed to take all week.

I managed little else.

I had the perfect storm of about a dozen things that converged all at once on my week. By the time I got home on Friday I crashed hard on the couch. I woke up sick and spent the rest of the weekend on the couch.

I am feeling much better today and ready to face the new week.

September has quite possibly the most beautiful weeks of the year here. It is absolutely gorgeous outside and I have every single window in my house open. It smells fabulous in here!

Life is GOOD!

Labor Day Weekend...

2011-09-08T10:09:00.004-04:00

already seems like so long ago.

And I want it back.

1. We saw an over 30 degree change in temperature from the minute we arrived to the minute we left. It was around 95 degrees and not a breeze to be found when we were unpacking on Friday and around 65 degrees and crazy windy when we were packing back up to come home.

2. This photo was taken on Sunday morning. I was completely alone on the beach with my new obsession - collecting sea glass. I loved this moment and love this photo.

3. Jimmy and I won all our Euchre games as partners.

4. Jimmy and I faced off in the Cornhole Tournament Finals. His team won by one point. I kind of hated that.

5. Jimmy won at poker.

6. The Cifanis left Linwood with money in hand. Money we won at the expense of our friends. That's always weird.

7. I love the beach.

8. I ate a dozen pierogies smothered in caramelized onions.

9. I ran and my leg felt stronger.

10. I miss summer.

Starting my next life...

2011-08-31T16:29:00.001-04:00

on Tuesday. In this cute little building - Community Montessori School.

I've been living my current life for nine years since quitting the life I lived for fourteen years before that. I was an elementary school teacher in a traditional public school. I decided to stay at home with my daughter after she was born. And I never looked back.

I have loved this stay-at-home-mom gig with all my heart. Whenever I was asked if I missed teaching I would almost blurt out the word NO before the question was finished. Never missed it a bit. I think I answered otherwise a few times because I felt like that's what I *should* have felt like. But in reality, I had less than zero desire to ever go back.

People would always talk about going back to work to have a little extra cash or to get themselves out of the house otherwise they'd be bored - and I was always like, whatever! Extra cash is okay, but it's not what I'm after, and I get myself out of the house plenty. I also think I lack the personality to be bored. I just don't have it in me. I can fill my days just fine and never come across boredom!

If you had asked me twenty years ago if I could ever see myself working with three, four and five year olds, I would have laughed. If you had asked me if I could ever see myself working in a Montessori school, I would have said, "Monte-what???"

This story is long and amazing and maybe I'll tell it in its entirety here someday. It is nothing short of miraculous - in the truest sense of the root word. It has brought me here - with the opportunity to do something I feel a great passion for (for which I feel a great passion)! Something I am beyond excited to be a part of and crazy happy to be able to spend my afternoons doing.

So, in this next life, my mornings will remain the same and I will be spending my afternoons at Community Montessori School! Best of both of the worlds that I love!

This is getting long...

2011-08-24T11:24:00.004-04:00

The first day of school front step photo.

Quinn was a little sad this morning. She'd rather not return to school. She might also be a bit nervous, although she wouldn't admit it out loud if she were. She's leaving the class and the teachers she's been with for the last three years. She's entering the Upper Elementary classroom, which is made up of fourth and fifth years (and should have sixth year students as well, which will hopefully happen next year). She has two completely new teachers, although she knows them and every child in her room already.

She opted to not do our annual shopping trip for a new outfit to wear on the first day of school. Instead she wanted to choose something she already had. However, this combination of shirt, shorts and socks is new, so there's that.

And now for the annual trip down memory lane.

First day of Preschool - 3 years old - 2005

First day of Montessori Middle Group - 4 years old - 2006

First day of Montessori Kindergarten - 5 years old - 2007

First day of First Grade - 6 years old - 2008

First day of Second Grade - 7 years old - 2009

First day of Third Grade - 8 years old - 2010

First day of Fourth Grade - 9 years old - 2011

Teacher GIfts...

2011-08-22T15:43:00.005-04:00

You cannot imagine the amount of times I have rearranged these flowers. And the amount of internal cursing that has gone on while trying to get the sticks in the foam, the cards on the sticks and the flowers on the cards without the whole things simply falling apart. Which is what I fear may happen if I touch it one more time.

Quinn has two teachers in her classroom - Amy W and Amy B. I have not yet made the gift for Amy B. See above paragraph.

And another reason - the amount of punching and arranging of yellow ovals has my eyes crossing.

I am quite unhappy with the back, but I am just going to have to remain quite unhappy because Quinn goes back to school on Wednesday and I have a whole lot of wrestling with the second one of these yet.

I got $5.00 gift cards to some of the restaurants at the corner near Quinn's school. The card attached to one of the flower backs mentions the rush of the first weeks of school and the cards being useful in case of running out of the house without breakfast, forgetting to pack lunch, or needing to eat dinner in the car on the run. The card part could be greatly improved, but again - read above.

And because you know I didn't think of this on my own - the link from where I copied the idea.

Boo. I hate when summer ends.

Well, there goes that...

2011-08-22T11:31:00.003-04:00

So I started the summer secretly training for a marathon. I told just a few friends - so I couldn't give up easily. I jokingly asked them to pray hard for me during the next few months since I'm not getting any younger and the marathon isn't getting any shorter.

Damn friends.

Kidding =)

Sort of.

Okay, I am kidding.

I had already resigned myself to running the half marathon a month or so ago, which felt like failure on my part to begin with. But we had vacations to go on and a super full summer of going going going, yo. Training for 26.2 takes a lot out of you. I figured I could do a decent 13.1 on my minimal training.

This morning I called TOD on my half marathon as well.

I've been icing, massaging, elevating and keeping off my leg. I've been Advil-ing and re-icing and gently walking around.

I ran a few steps with Bob last night and that was all she wrote.

Things I commit to die hard for me. I'm going to stop complaining about it while I'm ahead and I'm still just slightly being a baby about it.

Now what?

The bad, the good, and the ugly...

2011-08-20T12:39:00.003-04:00

My friend, Jeff, gave me this headband and I love it! It's stretchy and it grabs my hair and doesn't slip. I use it to pull my bangs off my forehead when I run. And a little bit of bedazzling makes everything better!

I took this photo while laying on the floor with an ice pack after today's run. Hence my post title.

THE BAD - I was running along happily when all of the sudden it felt like someone kicked me in the back of my right calf. I tried to run it out over the next couple steps but slowed to a painful hobble. I reached down to massage my calf then tried to stand back up. I didn't even get straightened before I bent back over and grabbed my calf. It hurt so much! I tried to start walking and I had a hard time even hobbling.

My immediate reaction when anything goes wrong with me physically is complete frustration. And I always choke back crying when I'm frustrated. Not tears from being hurt or sad. Completely ticked off and angry tears.

I live with chronic pain. I've mentioned it here before. It hinders many of my favorite activities. One of the things I've been able to do despite this everyday pain over the years is run. I've run injury free as well for most of my life. I mean it when I say it's such an easy thing for me to throw on running shoes and head out my front door.

My husband had endured injury and pain from running. He is what is considered in the running world as a "Clydesdale". Isn't that fantastic? Choose a weight category and label everyone over the chosen limit after a large horse! (Larger women runners are referred to as Athenas. That's so much better!) He runs with orthotics in his shoes and tight bands above both knees just to make it a little less painful for him. He no longer runs out on the pavement, just on the treadmill since it's not as hard on joints. I have always been so thankful injury or body type has not kept me from running.

So, I'm hobbling down the road. Ticked off beyond belief and choking back tears that I had to stop running and thinking I probably won't be running again very soon the way my calf was not letting me put any weight on it or even straighten out my right leg.

THE GOOD - I had hobbled along the street, the distance of a few driveways, when I looked up and saw a woman crossing her yard a few houses away. When I saw her she said, "Oh Honey, can I drive you anywhere?"

And I now ask you - why, oh why, do we do the following? Or maybe it's just me. I try to hobble less and smile and shout back, "Oh, I just live around the corner. Thank you so much though!" She said, "I am cringing in sympathy pain just watching you." I said, "You are so sweet. Thank you. But I'll be fine!"

Me taking her up on her kind offer was just too much for my ego. I was sweaty and trying not to cry and about a mile from my house! Why couldn't I just accept kindness from someone I didn't know?

THE UGLY - My other leg started to seize up by the time I made it all the way back to my house because of my stupid hobbling slowness. I reached my front door and started crying hard. I grabbed a towel and told Jimmy something happened to my leg and he grabbed an ice pack and sat on the floor and felt badly with me.

I got up after a little while and felt like I should walk around on it. So I took my frightful post-running self to the farm market and didn't care at all what people thought of me in my running clothes and socks with my nubby Adidas sandals and my cloth shopping bag. Dogs sniffed me. I'm sure I smelled. But I bought some tomato basil bread, some peaches and some blueberries. That made my belly happy, but my leg still hurts a lot.

I am in a very bad mood.

We made it...

2011-08-17T11:34:00.009-04:00

And now that I'm back, I can admit to being nervous that I ever said I'd go!

A good thing about me and my ideas is that I rarely think I will fail. I say yes to things and see no reason why I can't do them. It serves me well though because I accomplish things I never would have otherwise.

The fact that I even thought driving for two solid days to Nova Scotia and then two solid days back to Ohio amazes me now in hindsight. I get motion sickness and migraines from being in the car too long. And I get sleepy in the car no matter what time of day it is or how much sleep I've had. What was I thinking? A few days before we left, Jimmy kept saying, "It's such a long drive! Are you sure you want to do this? Let me look for flights (at $800 each). Etc., etc., etc." And then I started questioning myself. I've done the drive twice before with another driver and once before by myself. But this time, having Quinn in the car with me, it started seeming much more serious. It probably freaked Jimmy out a little bit. He went and had brand new tires put on the car and all sorts of things checked and rechecked before we left.

But people must have been praying. Praying hard. Because it was probably the easiest driving I've ever done! All four and a half days in the car were pretty much next to painless. It helps that Quinn is an amazing passenger for a nine year old. For any year old actually. She doesn't even need electronic devices when we travel. We played games, talked, she read, looked out the window, thought thoughts, etc. We did go to the library and got some books she likes on tape, but we might have listened to 30 minutes of one and then opted to turn it off. She never complains and is just as easy going as you'd want a travel companion. Sometimes I had to check to make sure she was still in the back seat!

We had a great time staying with Aunt Erin and Uncle Brian and Blake and Lane in Nova Scotia. And we visited with Nanny and Papa and Jillian and Ryan. We took the ferry to Prince Edward Island with Erin and visited the Green Gables house and the Lucy Maud Montgomery Museum. We saw the Anne of Green Gable stage show, spent the night and did some shopping in Cavendish and Charlottetown. And we went to my favorite beach in the world.

We took the 2011 version of us on the boardwalk over the dunes - I have several photos of us on this boardwalk from over the years. This was Quinn's fifth trip.

Instead of retracing our route through Pennsylvania, New York, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Maine and New Brunswick to Nova Scotia, we decided to drive back through Canada and spend a night in Old Quebec City. So we drove back from Nova Scotia through New Brunswick, Quebec and Ontario before entering the states again in New York.

That's another self timer photo of us near the walkway in Old Quebec City on the St. Lawrence River. It's one of my favorite cities - even though Quinn thought it was too Frenchy. We found most people in stores and restaurants spoke English if we asked and were very friendly. We had an amazing pizza in a little Italian Restaurant with open windows along the street. Then we watched some street performers and did some shopping before heading back to our hotel.

I really had no idea where I was going or what we'd do when we got there. I had been to OQC once, 18 years ago. I just remember loving the city and wanting to go back. So I just set my GPS and found my way to the city, found a parking garage, and we just got out and walked. It struck me at one point that Quinn completely trusts that I know what I'm doing as she dutifully followed me around a strange city where no signs were in English and no one readily spoke our language. But it was a successful trip and we had a great time!

We've been back for two days and I just now feel caught up on sleep and used to not being in a car. As soon as Erin sends me the photos she took on Prince Edward Island (she's an awesome photographer and I didn't have to take my camera out once) I'll post some of those. It'll be the 2011 version of a vacation slide show!

You can't wait, huh?

Off again...

2011-08-05T09:09:00.003-04:00

I will miss this man.

Quinn and I are getting in the car bright and early tomorrow morning and driving to Nova Scotia.

Yes, I know that's crazy.

It's a 26 hour drive.

But we are thinking of it as an adventure and we will have so much fun together.

But I like traveling with my husband. He doesn't make me talk if I don't want to. We discuss interesting things if I do feel like talking. He does most of the driving. He massages my neck if I'm the one driving. He gets out and fills up the car when we're almost empty. He goes into the Subway and orders my sub exactly the way I like it. He surprises me with snacks I like when we stop. I almost never have to get out of the car. He makes all the arrangements. He packs the car. He plays endless rounds of trivia with Quinn.

He's just a very easy going person to travel with. Which is an even more fabulous given that I am not an easy going person to travel with.

I can go hours in absolute silence. I don't like trash in the car. I don't like too many cords and things all over the console. I don't like crumbs. I don't like too many things we won't use shoved into the back of the car. I like things to be in easy access. I don't like if my drink gets too warm or if the ice makes it too watery. I don't like the voice of the GPS.

Blah, blah, blah.

I will be without my phone for nine days. I will not be able to take photos and upload them to facebook or to my blog from my phone. I will not be able to check emails or texts the second I hear the signal. I will go through withdrawl.

I may break the addiction completely and you may never see me again!

Family photos...

2011-08-02T15:49:00.003-04:00

My friend took these photos of us on the beach last week. They were all really cute in one aspect or another, but I won't bore you with all of them. These are my favorites - despite the wind and looking into the sun.

One of the only ones where Quinn was not looking like Popeye.

And there it is again.

And since you can't see them in the above photos...

The socks. It wouldn't be a photo from the Summer of 2011 without a pair of over the knee socks.

I love these!

A thousand words...

2011-08-01T20:35:00.001-04:00

I could not possibly love this photo more than I do.

Six solid hours barely leaving the water...

2011-07-26T17:29:00.002-04:00

and it's only 2:00.

Quinn's activities at the beach are measured in the several hours. She does nothing for a small amount of time. Not all in one day, but so far:

Six hours of nonstop wave jumping.

Four hours of solid focus digging for live coquinas.

Three hours of digging and helping to construct a sandcastle. She was in a hole as tall as herself, shoveling out her weight in sand.

She is now off fishing with some of the gang.

She has a larger attention span and more stick-to-it-ness than most people I know.

And she sleeps wonderfully.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Atlantic Ocean, I have missed you...

2011-07-24T22:42:00.001-04:00

Quinn, Cameron and Hayden

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Heaven is real...

2011-07-22T10:21:00.002-04:00

And it's in North Carolina.

My home for the next week.

And my soul is happy.

You can take me down,

You can show me your home,

Not the place where you live,

But the place where you belong.

"Something to Say" ~Toad the Wet Sprocket~

Farm Camp...

2011-07-21T09:36:00.004-04:00

Quinn is spending the week at Farm Camp - a week of Excessive Heat Advisories and temperatures in the high nineties with heat index values of 115. What a week to have this planned! The week before we head to the beach to spend another week outside in the sun and heat all day!

Yet I simply can. not. wait!

But back to Farm Camp. Yesterday they milked goats and made their own mozzarella cheese which they will use later to make pizza. They petted and combed baby lambs, carded the wool, dyed it, and made felt balls. Today they're taking a hike through the woods and exploring in the creek beds.

Do you know how I know all this?

Is it because Quinn runs to greet me after camp, bubbling over with stories and sharing everything about her day?

Pffft.

I know this because I read the little note the camp staff prints to tell us what the kids did that day. Otherwise, I would know nothing.

Well, the first day I did get to hear that they went fishing. But only as a side story to why Quinn was coming home with a spinach container converted into a habitat for worms she had dug up. The kids all searched for and dug up their own worms to go fishing but then all opted to use hotdogs for bait and take their worms home. Except for the one kid that said he wasn't allowed to have worms at home.

Imagine.

So he shared his worms with the rest of the kids. Yay! More worms for Quinn.

She did talk non-stop about her worms, and how she would take care of them and what they would eat. I would show them to you up close but...

I've been warned. By the Worm Patrol. Worm Wash Cove is being guarded and kept cool. Not sure if they should have a fan aimed at their container. But I'm not the Worm Patrol, so what do I know?

Quinn has a spray bottle she mists them with every now and again. She soaks the newspaper lining the bottom of the container and the worms are safely under dirt and banana peels. On top of her rocking chair. Covered by the blanket her grandmother knitted for her when she was born.

I'm a good parent.

Allowing worms in my child's bedroom AND encouraging gambling.

When Quinn came home from camp yesterday she was resting in her room from the heat. Well, I thought she was resting. She was making a slot machine.

It's quite genius.

You choose a ticket then put a dime in the slot. Quinn then opens the flap on the left that has many little flaps from which you choose one. Quinn then asks at least a half dozen times if that really is your choice or would you like to choose another flap and is that your final answer and are you sure...

She then lifts the flap and if the code underneath matches the code on your ticket you get to pull the little lever on the bottom which is connected to a tray that slides out and your dime gets caught in a little chute and rolls out the side, back to you.

If your code does not match, the next person gets a turn. Dimes get added each time.

I would like to brag that I beat Jimmy after six rounds last night and won 60 cents.

And now I don't even need to tell you about my Las Vegas trip!

Las Vegas...

2011-07-18T16:53:00.001-04:00

I'm so tired...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Busy...

2011-07-13T18:48:00.004-04:00

Summer is flying by.

We've kept ourselves busy with at least one planned trip for each week, along with camps and volunteering. We've been spending other days swimming at the pool and doing our fair share of being lazy and spending hours reading (Quinn) or working on school work to get ahead with next year's work (me).

I am loving this summer.

We attended my friend's 20 year anniversary wedding vow renewal ceremony earlier this month. So sweet. And I love this photo of Quinn from that day. Great face.

And she took this one of Jimmy and I. If it looks like we weren't ready, we weren't. Quinn doesn't have a lot grace with photography - she just snaps the shutter and hands the camera back. I had fallen out of my sandal and was trying to get it back on. I am not drunk and needing to be held up.

Why must I always comment on photos with me in them? Why?

Anyway, the rest of this month will fly as well. Jimmy planned a last minute trip to Las Vegas for him and I. Last minute meaning booked it yesterday and we leave tomorrow to drive Quinn to my Mom's and then fly out on Friday from her airport. When we get back Quinn has a one week Farm Camp and then we leave the following week for Emerald Isle Beach.

Have I said how much I am loving this summer?

Because I am.

However, I am being plagued by a flare up of enormous proportions with my usual chronic pain. So it's not all puppies and rainbows. That's probably a post for another day when my hands aren't gnarled into a clawlike grip as I try to type.

Sigh. It's too depressing to even want to think about.

Pizza is on the way though. Life is still good.

Sneak Peek...

2011-06-30T10:23:00.005-04:00

The rate at which I am finishing my bedroom is slower than a crawl. But I am in the home stretch. My accomplishment for this week.

I love this pendant. Love it, love it, love it. I wish the photo was in focus, but you get the idea. It reminds me of the skirts of many of the wedding dresses I've been seeing lately.

I can't believe that before this week, I had been staring at this for the past seven years...

except for this past year when the ceiling got painted.

I had an idea of what I wanted to hang in there and searched forever. I knew I didn't want a ceiling fan or a chandelier. Every room in our house is starting to look like every other room out there and I wanted something different. I found a pendant like this on a website and it was $600. And of course I loved it. But was not about to hang a $600 light fixture in my room. I kept searching and found this one, which is nearly identical, for $130. Except it came with a plug cord.

Do people really plug pendants in and swag the cord across the ceiling still? Because this one came with hooks and detailed instructions to do just that. I am not kidding. It also came with the silver canopy that you see in the photo above, but NO directions for how to make that little tiny adjustment!

So I chopped of the cord and wired me a pendant lamp with information off the internet! If my house burns down, please remind me to remove this post before I file my insurance claim.

I'm not sure Jimmy loves this new light fixture like I do. Especially since it uses only a 60 watt bulb but is super bright with all that white plastic. I think when he was making fun of it turning our room into a tanning bed he was passively aggressively saying he hated the new light.

But I'm sure with a new 20 watt bulb inside, he'll be taking that back. Do they even make 20 watt bulbs? It really is bright in there.

Wordless Wednesday, by Quinn...

2011-06-29T18:11:00.001-04:00

Summer on a Plate...

2011-06-27T14:08:00.006-04:00

Mmmmmmm.....What's the ruling on photos of half eaten food? Poor taste? I think, maybe. Sorry about that.

I started eating and halfway through thought to myself, "This is so good, I have to take a picture of it."

We probably eat this once a week in the summer. If you ask one of us what summer tastes like, we'll tell you: corn on the cob with lots of butter, and big fat slices of fresh tomato on toasted whole grain bread of some kind.

It's not a heavy weight in the meal department, but we love it in all its lightweightedness.

Quinn and I went to our local farm market on Saturday morning and I bought a fresh loaf of organic tomato and herb bread. Dear Gussie, it is amazing! We picked up some fresh tomatoes, some fresh salsa, a beer bread mix and a bag of peanut butter dog treats for Bob (and a bag of fresh picked, washed and chopped romaine lettuce that is so crispy I grab some and eat it from the bag when I open the refrigerator. It didn't make it into the photo below).

I think Saturday mornings just got itself a new tradition 'round here. There was a rescue group on the market grounds who brought about two dozen greyhounds. People were walking them around and they were playing in kiddie pools and laying in the shade. I wanted to bring all of them home.

Because, you know, we don't have enough pets here.

After I took a photo of my half eaten dinner, I snapped this one below.

This is what the family room looked like while we ate dinner. From left to right - Bob, Olive Martha and Eunice.

We'll need more couches if I visit the greyhound rescue again.

Girls Writing for a Change...

2011-06-26T14:09:00.003-04:00

I'm so excited for this coming week for Quinn. She's participating in a week long writing camp that's part of the Women Writing for a Change program here in Cincinnati. I have a friend in the women's group and she suggested signing Quinn up for the girls' program this summer.

Whoever decided to start designing summer programs beyond Vacation Bible School and Drop Your Kid Off at the YMCA and We'll Play Games with Them All Day type camps is genius.

Girls Writing for a Change is designed "to strengthen girls' authentic voices through writing, creative arts, movement, positive interaction among peers, support and guidance through the creative process."

From another part of the website: All classes and camps for girls and teens use the art of writing and other modes of artistic expression to enhance self-esteem and build skills in creative self-expression. Participants learn to receive and give honest support and encouragement, build and keep community, and identify role models who inspire creative life choices. Programs are designed to strengthen girls' authentic voices, develop their ability to speak out through writing and direct interaction, and deepen their belief in their own creative intelligence.

This has Quinn's name written all over it. From what she loves to do to where she needs to grow.

I was also excited to be able to shop for school supplies. Quinn's school furnishes all school supplies so I have never had the chance to do that whole back to school supply shopping thing. The girls will be reading "So B. It" together, so I bought the book, then bought the composition book, folder, pencils, pens and highlighter to match! Wheeeeeee!

They will be decorating their shoe boxes to use for giving each other notes of encouraging words.

I am praying Quinn decorates her shoe box in blue.

SOS...

2011-06-22T21:19:00.005-04:00

Summer of Service is a week long outreach hosted by our church every year. Over 1000 middle and high school students come to Cincinnati from all over the country and spend the week serving our city. This is the 20th year it's been held, and the third year Quinn and I have volunteered together.

This is the first year I signed her up in an actual volunteer slot. She used to just come along with me as extra help wherever I signed up. I wanted to make sure that she would actually be of help and not just get a name badge and a free shirt then play around the whole time.

She has more than earned her spot. My girl works her tail off.

Even though she's still a little goofy.

We made hundreds of bagged lunches for the students who were serving off-site.

And then served pizza to the hundreds of students who worked on-site. This stack of pizza boxes is missing six other boxes that weren't empty yet.

Being in the presence of that much pizza was a spiritual experience for me. I mean, serving people and showing God's love was great and all, but seriously. Look at all that pizza!

In a few short years, Quinn will be one of the students going out to serve people in the city while I stay back making sandwiches and serving pizza without her. It has been really good for her to be on this side of it for now. I think the kids who were in town to serve kind of forgot they were being served as well. I mean, they're kids and all, right? But when a nine year old finishes a lunch shift and says, "Hardly any of those kids had manners, not many remembered to say 'thanks', and look how many of them can't even pick up after themselves!" as she walks around the student union picking up napkins, paper plates, half finished water bottles, shoes, backpacks, Bibles, etc., I don't even have to say a word to her about how important stuff like that is.

It's also a great lesson in being the one who is serving and not expecting to be thanked.

Except when I pointed that out and she said, "Yeah, but still. I wasn't expecting it, it's just something I noticed as someone was shouting, 'Where's my pizza?' I was all, "Seriously, Dude?"

Sigh.

Roomies - 25 years later...

2011-06-20T22:42:00.003-04:00

We lived together for one summer in college. The summer Huey Lewis and the News had "Happy to be Stuck with You" on the charts. That was our song.

That was 25 years ago.

I last saw Desiree 20 years ago. Years! That boggles my brain.

It's funny to reconnect with someone who knew you way back when. She is witness to a part of my life none of the people I hang around with now are.

And we have memories that you just don't make with friends as an adult. We lived together in one tiny room. We did everything with each other. No children. No schedule to speak of. No real responsibilities. We had a blast.

We lost touch five years after college. How and why that happened, I don't know. But we connected on facebook a year ago, after I swore I would never join facebook. Desiree and her family had just moved from her home that was half an hour away from where I live. That whole time! We could have reconnected years ago!

This week she's in town with kids from her church who are participating in a week long outreach that my church hosts every summer.

We met in the atrium at church last night. We sat and talked through the entire kick off event. And we'll get to see each other throughout the week since Quinn and I will be out at church volunteering all week.

There just happened to be someone I knew sitting in the atrium and he agreed to take a picture of us. I am definitely going to do this the next time people ask me to take their picture. He just kept clicking the shutter as we stood there getting ready for our picture. Because the perfect photo is elusive, but all the moments in between are really the best shots.

I bet you didn't think I'd post all these, huh Dean?

I love this girl. She does not take herself seriously at all. She is real. She is hilarious. We'd be fabulous friends still today if we didn't live four hours apart now.

And now that I spent less than two hours with her last night, I truly miss her!

Carew Tower and Van Gogh...

2011-06-16T17:41:00.004-04:00

Quinn and I took our first Adventures Around Cincinnati field trip yesterday. We went to the Carew Tower observation deck. Carew Tower is the tallest building in Cincinnati and from the observation deck there is a 360 degree view of the city that lets you see into Kentucky and Indiana.

It started to sprinkle as we found a parking garage - after I turned down a one way street and had to make a U-turn in front of oncoming traffic.

I am not familiar with driving in the city.

We grabbed our umbrellas and started to walk around a few of the city blocks, trying to find the entrance to Carew Tower. That was an adventure in itself. Quinn said, "Cool! That guy is selling hot dogs out of that little cart!"

They don't do that in the suburbs.

We found the tower and had to take an elevator to the 45th floor. Then we had to exit that elevator and go around a creepy corner to find the elevator that would take us to the 48th floor. It was the size of a coat closet and sounded like it wasn't going to make it. Then we left that elevator and climbed one tiny floor of stairs until we got to the observation deck level. We paid our $3.00 total and opened the door to the observation deck.

Quinn kept jumping around and shouting how cool it was.

Good thing we were the only two there.

And that's because it had really started to rain at this point.

But that just made it all the more fun for Quinn. She ran around all four sides pointing out what she could see and looking down at the buildings we thought were so tall when we were on the street.

We finally decided to leave when we were pretty wet and cold and saw lightning in the sky. Holding umbrellas on the top of the tallest building in the city in a lightning storm is not smart.

We walked around until we found a bagel shop and ate our bagels on the outdoor table by the street, despite the chilly rain.

How often do you get to do that?

Then we came home and read our books about Van Gogh. And today we made our own Starry Night art with views that we saw yesterday.

I made mine with Carew Tower where instead of that strange black thing Van Gogh had in his painting.

And Quinn made a teepee with cows on it in front of the Ohio River with the barge we saw yesterday floating by.

We collected information about Carew Tower and put it in a folder where we'll keep all our fun stuff from our adventures.

Fun day. Good memories.

Summer Shelves...

2011-06-15T16:30:00.004-04:00

I need to make sure I start this post with what it isn't before I write about what it is.

It is not about a crazy woman making her child do school work during the summer.

It is not an attempt to fill all my child's summer days with meaningfulness.

I think an unstructured summer is a gift. Without a sibling or a neighborhood with many children her age, we spend lots of time at the pool or just hanging out together, reading, making projects and going to the park, etc. And that is heaven to Quinn - introvert that she is.

I've never really jumped on the summer camp bandwagon. This summer though, Quinn is signed up for an art camp every Friday afternoon, a girls' writing workshop for a week, a Farm Camp at a nearby park for a week, and is on the waiting list for a week long gardening/cooking camp where the kids design and open a restaurant. We're volunteering at the shelter once a week, and bringing along our neighbors - two sweet girls around Quinn's age that she likes hanging out with. We're volunteering at a teen outreach week at our church next week and have a week at the beach next month. Somewhere in there, she also asked to take a tennis camp.

I've also planned field trips for us to take every week around town from the book Adventures Around Cincinnati. We're both really excited about these.

And you'd think that would keep her busy.

But we still have some long afternoons where Quinn will sit and read for hours. Which I love. But I wanted to give her some options for when we're hanging out around the house on a rainy afternoon - which today just happens to be.

So I went through some of my old school stuff and hoofed an old bookshelf and table and chair set to our upstairs hallway. I love this hallway. It's extra wide and it's like having an extra room upstairs.

If you are knowledgeable about Montessori, please look away! It was just a starting point and this is not by any means meant to look like any kind of Montessori shelf.

That guy in the frame is Ludwig Van Beethoven. And we've got some of his music on the iPod. It's fun to listen to while we're doing stuff around the house.

It is. Try it.

On the shelves are:

a set of tangrams and a book of shapes to create using them

a set of pattern blocks and some cooperative problem solving cards that use them

a calculator and a set of calculator cards that spell fun things when you work out equations

some glue and tissue squares to make more Tissue Paper Cherry Blossom Branches

a set of Yoga Pretzel cards and some yoga mats to do yoga

and a shelf of books about Beethoven and Van Gogh from the library

I'll change out the shelves with new activities and pick a new musician and artist as well.

For now, I checked out lots of books on Van Gogh and impressionism and we're going to create some impressionist art projects too.

This may all sound so completely dorky to most people reading, but that girl above completely digs stuff like this.

And so does her cat.

Ahhhhh.......

2011-06-13T15:41:00.004-04:00

I promise to write about the next awful thing that happens to me in great detail because I fear I will soon be labeled a liar in Blogger Land.

But that post won't be today. Today I've got a few pictures from my near perfect trip to Marco Island with three friends.

I say near perfect because my belly had to come along and ruin things. Although, if I hadn't eaten just shy of an entire package of Oreos I could have prevented the belly issues.

As God is my witness. I will never do that again. It left a lot less room for Margaritas and Riesling.

Some of my favorite spots from the trip:

1. This was the view from my bedroom window.

The house we stayed in was on Marco River and this was the dock behind the house. Those are Shari's dad's fishing boats. Marco River empties into the Gulf of Mexico.

I would get up early and go down to the dock and do some yoga and stretch. With good intentions of running every morning. I ended up getting addicted to the quiet on the river, the dolphins swimming by, and the heavenly breeze blowing - and never made it out for a run before the heat of the day. Jamie and I did manage a walk one morning, which was just as good. Or even better.

2. This is the lanai at the back of the house, facing the river.

The four of us spent many hours out here. Drinking wine, eating snacks, talking, and laughing until my sides hurt.

One afternoon there was a light rain and everyone else went in to take a nap. I curled up on the sofa and fell asleep with the warm breeze blowing and the sound of rain falling on the river and the pool. Just perfect.

3. The beach.

I love beaches. Love them like I love my only child. Love them like I can't even describe. I've been to plenty of beaches. This one is in my top two. It was a gorgeous white sand beach. It looked like snow as we walked up the boardwalk. And it was the softest sand I have ever walked on. And the beach was really wide from the boardwalk down to the water. And it had the most colorful shells I have ever seen. It was perfectly perfect.

4. The restaurants.

There is just something about eating outside at a table next to the water. With the sun and the breeze and music playing. We went to Quinn's on the beach for our last night.

And the next day I came home to this. Chalked in my driveway by Jimmy and Quinn.

It's a good thing I love coming home every bit as much as going away.

But, lordy do I miss the breeze.

And the dolphins.

True Stories...

2011-06-07T18:11:00.004-04:00

I post things about Quinn that aren't all unicorns and rainbows, don't I? I keep it real, right?

I hope so, or today's post is just going to sound like I'm making things up.

I'm leaving for Florida early tomorrow morning. Jimmy's mom is coming to stay for a few days. I asked Quinn to check her bathroom to make sure her counter top was wiped off since Grandma C would be sharing it with her. Quinn is notorious for not rinsing away toothpaste and leaving strands of hair all over her sink. And she said - hold on, this needs its own paragraph -

"How about I clean my entire bathroom right now!?" She then proceeded to spend a half hour scrubbing her sink, toilet, tub, floor and mirror. Unasked.

That's not all.

This morning I was out for a run and it was HOT. I came in the front door and immediately bent over to catch my breath and feel the air conditioning. Quinn came down the stairs and gave me a hug despite the fact that I was dripping sweat. While I was taking off my shoes she went into the kitchen and came back with a huge glass of ice water for me. Then she went upstairs, got my towel, and spread it out on the floor for me where I like to stretch after a run.

I know. She really is one of a kind.

Today we went to the shelter where she and I have volunteered off and on since Quinn was three. She is well known and trusted there, so she got to go into the isolation room and bottle feed the brand new kittens that were found tied in a bag in a trash dumpster.

It has been a year since we've been there to volunteer, but we'll be going back once a week now that it's summer. We found out my favorite cat had been adopted. Winkin was terrified of people and was on anxiety medication because she ripped her hair out and had bald spots everywhere. She was frightening looking. An elderly man came to adopt Winkin and the lady in charge was afraid he'd take one look at her and choose another cat. He didn't even look around. He got on the floor to talk to Winkin and said, "It's okay Winkin. I don't much like people either and I'm losing my hair as well."

Don't you just love him?

And one last story. This is Uncle Kidd. In the red bucket. You may notice he looks slightly out of place. The big guy in the little kids' room.

Uncle Kidd is the self proclaimed nanny in the kitten room. He loves kittens and if he's separated from them he gets a little nutty and starts ripping out his hair.

I think that's the thing to do if you're a cat and you're upset.

So Uncle Kidd watches over the kittens and gets to keep his hair. How cute is that?

Have a wonderful week. I will think of you from the beach whilst drinking a frozen margarita and reading a trashy magazine!

Last Days...

2011-06-03T10:12:00.002-04:00

My last class was Wednesday night. Quinn's last day of school is today.

I have been looking forward to these two dates for months.

I just love summer, in all its laziness and all its activity. I love having Quinn out of school and home during the days. I love the idea that it seems like we have all the time in the world stretched out before us over the next few months.

I am leaving for Florida with three friends next week. We're taking our traditional week at the beach as a family with our group of neighborhood friends in July. I'm hoping to get up to Nova Scotia to see "family" there and take Quinn to Prince Edward Island - home of Lucy Maud Montgomery and Land of Anne. We read Anne of Green Gables together this winter and watched the movie when we finished the book. I'd love to plan a quick trip to Las Vegas next month where Hitting the Nuts is sure to take the Las Vegas Film Festival by storm. We've also got our Labor Day weekend at the Lodge on Lake Erie with friends to look forward to as well. We'll most likely take a weekend away to hike/fish/relax in some cabin or a tent somewhere with just the three of us.

And in between those plans, there's the pool and bike rides and sitting on the patio with a book. There are walks with Bob and hikes in the park. I've also mapped out some "field trips" around our area that we'll choose one day a week and explore around Cincinnati. And I set up a Montessori "classroom" for Quinn with some fun activities for her to do over the summer on a rainy day. She's already taken out several of the activities, but I've got lots of fun ideas for us to do there as well. I'll post about that tomorrow!

I want the end of August to take its own sweet time getting here.

I should turn in my Creativity Card after making these for Quinn's two teachers. I was not going for a wow factor. I was looking for plain and simple, using the pictures instead of lots of colorful paper and a cute design.

The cover is a picture of the three Mother's Day projects Quinn made over the three years she's been in this class.

The three pictures on the inside cover are the three first days of school from her time in this class - 2008, 2009 and 2010. I wanted them to show her changing over her time with these two teachers, but her eight year old picture is actually smaller than her six year old picture. If you could see it up close though, you can totally see the change in her sweet face.

And then I included a picture of her in her last month in this class.

Tonight is a celebration at her school for the students leaving MAC (it only goes through Grade 8) and then we're taking Quinn out to dinner.

And then summer is officially here on my calendar!

Have a wonderful day and a fantastic weekend!

Jimmy and Quinn...

2011-05-31T08:13:00.005-04:00

Jimmy took the day off today to take a Field Trip with Quinn's class.

So I had them stand by the picture taking door. No crazy socks or horrible color combinations to be found. Only a girl who is VERY excited to have her dad with her on a field trip.

In the five years Quinn has been a student at MAC, I've gone on 90% of her field trips. I figured it was one of the great perks of this Stay At Home Mom gig. I may have been sick for one, I was substituting in another class for one or two, and one or two that I wanted Quinn to do without me. I figured that could be a good experience too - she got really used to me just automatically being there with her. I've been to pumpkin patches, planetariums, plays, musical performances, river boat trips, zoo trips, camp trips, hikes, nature activities - so many that I can't even think of them all.

But this one had Jimmy written all over it. They're going to the Newport Aquarium to see a penguin show and then off to the Great American Ballpark to have lunch and a guided tour of the stadium.

Quinn is wearing my Cincinnati Reds shirt, tied up on the side with a hair band. Something I loved doing to my bigger shirts when I was little.

Jimmy just texted me - "I'm on a school bus!"

That cracked me up.

I hope they have a great day!

Cherry Blossom Branch Bouquet...

2011-05-27T09:30:00.006-04:00

I know this is over a month late, but I used it as one of my art activities for class.

It would have looked a lot better if trees actually happened to be blooming right now. I still love it though. It is amazing how pretty it looks to simply glue tissue paper to sticks.

I got the idea from the Montessori blog I have linked before - Counting Coconuts.

I only decorated two of the branches for my presentation for class, so last night Quinn and I sat and decorated the rest. Activities like this are super calming to me. I swear I could just sit, rhythmically twisting and gluing tissue paper squares, and cover an entire tree. Peace through creativity.

It was a great opportunity for Quinn and I to just sit and chat away while being busy with our hands. She is not one for concentrated or direct conversation. We have to find opportunities where she'll open up as we are involved in something. We almost have to pretend we're not particularly interested in having a conversation with her to get her to have a conversation. We have learned, by fire, not to expect much if we just ask her direct questions. She is the master of the one word answer if not carefully approached.

I think that's why I love to read with her. Books are such a great way of having a conversation using someone else's words. Words/advice/wisdom that would be quickly disregarded coming from a parent somehow seem much more worthy of consideration coming from an author. And it gives me an excuse to feed my addiction to picture books.

We read Eliza's Cherry Trees before working on our cherry blossom project. I love stories with strong woman characters. Eliza was the woman behind the acquisition and planting of the thousands of Cherry Blossom Trees in our nation's capital. She was a writer and world traveler, in a time when many women didn't think these kinds of opportunities were available to them. She was turned down several times when she approached those in charge with her idea of planting the trees in Washington DC and did not have her dream realized for decades. The book makes the point in a couple different places that "sometimes when you have a good idea, you have to keep trying" and that women can do amazing things.

I want to add more branches to our bouquet, but look at my backyard.

It is a swamp. I've got sticks out there waiting for tissue paper to be glued upon them, but they may not dry out until July the way the weather has been here. Rainstorms, tornado warnings, and a sponge for a backyard are really getting old.

The minute I see the sun around here I am going to lay myself flat out on my concrete driveway and soak it up for as long as it hangs around.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Is she serious...?

2011-05-25T07:49:00.002-04:00

Yes.

I'm afraid she is.

Molybdenum...

2011-05-18T07:49:00.004-04:00

It's so rare to photograph a natural smile of Quinn's. This is about as close as I have ever been able to get.
It's usually something more like this.

We were laying in bed last night reading, "The Incredible Journey" and I stumbled upon and tried to sound out the word in the title of this post. Quinn was just petting a cat and listening. She looked up and said, "Show me where you are." I pointed to the word and she said, "Oh yeah, that's molybdenum (perfectly pronounced). It's a metal type element on the Periodic Table."

Of course it is. The next word in the sentence was 'mine'.

And for your information, I pronounced that word perfectly!

I'm not sure where Quinn came up with her clothing combinations lately. I mean, I know where she got them. They're all in her closet and drawers. But they all were purchased to be worn with different things. She is very stuck on shorts with long sleeved shirts and argyle socks right now. This particular outfit makes me smile.

Who needs to be aware of color and pattern combinations?

I will say this about Quinn's school (as if I don't say enough about it already). I don't know if my otherwise awkwardly shyish girl who does not like drawing attention to herself would be as free to be herself in another school setting. For one thing, it's small. For another, individuality is highly valued. And most importantly, there is virtually no such thing as making fun of others or a ganging up/bullying mentality - nor is there much of a Fashion Borg. It's okay if you're not wearing Uggs or North Face, Hollister or Abercrombie. Although, believe me. I like that stuff as much as the next girl. Quinn is the one who is unphased by any of it.

She won't draw much attention to herself dressed like this. She'll be just one of many, many others who look just as independent and weird.

And I say that with much affection.

Montessori Flowers...

2011-05-11T09:20:00.004-04:00

This is what Quinn made in class for Mother's Day this year. It is so cute.

Here it is with the vases from the two previous years. In her first year they made paper flowers out of their hands - cut out and rolled up around pipe cleaners. They also decoupaged the vase. In her second year they made tissue paper flowers and wrapped the vases with yarn.

For the third year, the button flowers are supported inside the vase filled with tissue paper.

I love that every year is something different, yet they make a cohesive arrangement when all the years' projects get added together.

It's such a Montessori thing. Quinn has been in her Lower Elementary classroom for three years. Megan has been with her all three years. Deanna left after Quinn's first year, but Regina has been with her for these past two years.

Quinn started out in this classroom as an adorable six year old first year student - with her bright blonde hair and dress-wearing ways (even when bug and rock hunting).

And will end her time in this classroom as a beautiful nine year old third year student - with her darker hair always in a ponytail and not a dress in sight (even for Christmas or Easter).

I am one of those odd people who actually love the passage of time, and seeing it reflected in my daughter. I have always loved exactly where she is more than any time that has been before. You won't much hear me say how I wish I could keep her little or that I want to slow down time. I love every day Quinn grows and matures. And I know I'll look back on this time that I love so much from a place that I love even more.

I'll just have so many more wrinkles then.

Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream on a Doughnut...

2011-05-09T09:13:00.003-04:00

My Mother's Day breakfast...

planned by and served to me by this sweet girl...

who has a style all her own and a heart that is bigger than this small body would indicate.

My belly started to feel sick on my way to church Saturday night. It got worse on my way home and I crawled into bed for an hour or so on Saturday evening. When I awoke to the large amount of sugar on my plate Sunday morning, my stomach said, "No way, Sister. Don't. Even."

But I did what any good Mom would do. I ate that breakfast with a smile on my face. And it was surprisingly good! I ordered only half of what I normally order when we went out for lunch and I actually chose to skip going out to my favorite restaurant for dinner. That pained me greatly. I think my new love language is being taken out to eat!

On this day after Mother's Day, I am most thankful for the man in my life. I am thankful for the father he is to Quinn and the example he sets for her of honoring and loving her mother.

I am not ceremonious. I'm not really crazy about Mother's Day. But I am crazy about my daughter and she was about as excited over her ideas for celebrating Mother's Day as she was for Christmas morning, so I loved it because of that. And she had a great collaborator as she told Jimmy her ideas and he helped her carry them out by shopping for doughnuts and ice cream and decorating after midnight.

As poorly as I felt all day, I know the day cost my husband. He has been fighting something viral on top of something allergy related all week and he had worked to exhaustion in the yard on Saturday while I leisurely drove around and shopped by myself. My husband loves, and deserves, a good nap on a weekend day. I don't think a harder working human being exists. But he spent the entire day making sure we did whatever I felt like doing and eating wherever I felt like eating and staying engaged with Quinn and me until she went to bed and he finally crashed on the couch in the basement. And as much as I wouldn't have cared if he had slept the day away, I appreciate the gift of his effort and his selflessness.

I wouldn't be the mother I am without him.

On a roll...

2011-05-06T13:36:00.004-04:00

Well, I'm home today with a sick child. I actually asked for half of the day off so we could go to the Mother's Day Tea at her school. But we're missing that! =(

So I ended up with the whole day off and no plans to fill it, since I thought I'd be at work.

I had to run to the grocery store this morning at 6:00 AM or risk being eaten alive by three hungry cats. I took a quick run down the bath towel section while I was there and then a quick run into Lowe's before coming home and feeding the cats. I showed them who is boss!

And an hour later I finally had a decorated wall over the toilet in the powder room I decorated over two years ago.

I just saw the idea a day or so ago on a decorating blog, only I can't find it now for the life of me. The other one was so much cuter. It was a little old wooden window box that fit just three towels. And I thought it would be perfect under the photo I just had framed. My friend took this picture of rows of windows and colorful shutters when she was in Geneva (the link is to her etsy shop where she has the photo for sale - I'm not trying to advertise, but it is an awesome photo and you need to see it up close. This shot of it in my bathroom does it NO justice). I love this photo. Love the colors. It might be weird to put it in my powder room but it needed some color. It's completely black and white. The entry way it opens up into is a terra cotta color and I always thought I'd do something with that color in the powder room. But, two years later, I had to admit that I hadn't come up with anything.

So let me now tell you everything that is wrong with it. Then I'll let it all go and just enjoy it.

Riiiiight.

The scale is off - it's too wide. But I was on a mission and didn't feel like poking around garage sales and home and garden stores for the next two years looking for the perfect window box. This was was $15.o0 at Lowe's and I thought about it for all of two minutes before resignedly taking it to the register and purchasing it. The mat and frame could be larger but the photo is an 8x12 and I didn't want to have a custom made frame. The only size it made sense in was an 12x16 I found in Michaels. And the frame could be lower. But I don't care what all those decorator shows tell you. I despise putting holes in my walls and I never seem to be able to patch them well if I have to make new ones.

The powder room is so small I can't seem to get a good photo of it in relation to anything else, but despite the paragraph above, it is super cute and completely adds to the room.

Sneak Peek...

2011-05-05T18:54:00.005-04:00

It's finally on its way to being finished!

Of course, I got called to sub on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of last week at one school and worked my regular Thursday and Friday gig at the other school. Then we headed up north for the weekend. So my grand plan of working on the bedroom was set aside for one week.

So this week, I had friends come over on Monday and we painted the walls.

On Tuesday and Wednesday I sanded the bed frame, sprayed on several coats of primer and am still working on several coats of paint. I hope to have it all painted, coated with protector, and reassembled by Sunday. It's a seemingly endless process of spraying and waiting. Patience is not my strong suit in decorating.

And of course, painting the walls lead to how obviously in need of paint the door frames and trim are. And the seam between the wall and the ceiling, that I've had professionally fixed three times now, is back. So I've decided to add crown moulding. I also need fabric for the drapes, throw pillows, and bedskirt. I want to order two accent chairs and an ottoman. I'll probably need an end table too.

So it won't be finished finished for a while.

But I am loving it so far!

White walls, seafoam ceiling.

Seafoam bedside tables.

And the scrapbook paper that inspired the room.

I love this color combination. Love it like I love my husband. And I really really love my husband.

I kept calling it "raspberry" and when searching for raspberry fabric could find nothing. I spent a while on a fabric website the other day and found a color-on-color damask fabric and I am crossing my fingers that when the swatch comes in the mail that it matches that scrapbook paper perfectly. It was called "watermelon". Brilliant. It's not raspberry at all.

So white and seafoam and watermelon. This is like nothing else in my entire house.

Just didn't want y'all to think I was lazy and putting this off until 2012.

The Easter Satchel...

2011-05-03T11:10:00.008-04:00

I got a new camera card reader and have uploaded recent photos and am prepared to bore teh internets with what's been going on in my rainy part of the world.

Some of these photos have been waiting a while to be posted.

Behold, the Easter Satchel.

No need to scroll back up. You read that right. And the above photo is indeed an Easter Satchel.

Quinn came to me a few months ago and stated that she didn't want to use her Easter Basket this year and would like to have a satchel instead.

The more I type the word satchel the more I'm giggling at the whole thing.

She explained what her idea for an Easter Satchel was, drawing a diagram and explaining how it would work.

I hid the fact that I love the Easter Basket I had bought for her before she was even born. A round, shallow, white wicker basket with a tall handle and a pink gingham fabric liner.

And once again I realized what a precious little individual Quinn is and how I need to respect that over the love of my idea of what her Easter Basket should be.

I would need to remind myself of this just days later.

We took a trip to the fabric store where lots of traditional Easter fabric was on display. Not a chance, sister! Quinn went down the aisle of "other" fabrics and chose the lovely green and aqua leaf pattern you see above. I tried to suggest other, cuter patterns. She said, and I quote, "I like this one, and once I make my mind up I rarely change it."

Okay. I get it. I do. I'm just a little slow.

So we chose some matching cord for the drawstring and some matching thread; and we cut, ironed and pinned; and I taught Quinn how to thread my ancient sewing machine; and she sewed herself a satchel!

And she was so happy and excited about the whole thing, from her own idea to its completion.

I mean. How can you argue with that?

I satisfied my own need to make something cute (to me) out of the project and found some matching wrapping paper with which to wrap her books and DS game when I filled the satchel.

And she used it for the Easter Egg Hunt at my sister's house.

And no Easter Bunnies died from disrespect of tradition.

And no Moms did either.

Practicing

2011-05-01T11:21:00.001-04:00

Playing around with Blogger settings on my phone.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Sweet

2011-04-30T20:46:00.001-04:00

Waiting for me in the garage when I came home from class on Wednesday.

Makes me realize a few things:

I have the best husband in the world.
I don't take pictures nearly enough of the sweet things he does.
Our garage is a hellhole.
I'm not sure if hellhole is one word or two.
I miss when I posted random photos all the time on my blog.
I am really looking forward to summer and class being over.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

A year later...

2011-04-18T13:49:00.003-04:00

Remember this post from a year ago? About the changes I was making to our bedroom.

A year ago.

I have to stop and laugh. And then hate on myself some.

I painted the bedside tables. They look awesome.

My friends came and helped me paint the walls. They even painted the ceiling - with the same color I painted the bedside tables. The same color as the drapes I found.

The same drapes that are still sitting in the box waiting to be hung.

I'm such a failure.

I hated the color we painted the walls (an off white) the minute they were dry. I immediately wanted to paint them real white and just be done with it.

So I left the painting supplies in the bedroom and the outlet covers and screws in a ziplock baggie.

The painting supplies got moved into the bathroom a few months later.

The outlet covers were never put back up.

I just kept putting off the repainting of the walls.

I hate myself.

I have loads of decorating blogs in my Google Reader that I faithfully read and oooh and aaaah over. I think I'm officially on decorating overload.

The truth is, while I love decorated homes and all the different ideas out there, I really don't love decorating. And I really loathe painting.

I think I'm okay knowing those ideas are out there, in someone else's home. I'm good with not feeling the need to keep up with it all in my own home. I would need a dozen homes anyway to accomplish all the looks, ideas, and colors I would love in a home.

Some of it though, is all starting to blend together. I think I might be the last human being on the planet who doesn't like granite counter tops and actually prefers white kitchen appliances.

I truly love my home. Love it like you wouldn't understand. I love what has been decorated and I'm good if it never changes. I read a decorating blog where I have found great ideas, but her house is never the same two weeks in a row. She is constantly moving things around and hanging things in different places and it gives me serious anxiety. Stop it already! Leave it be! It was fine the way it was!

But she loves doing that. And I don't.

So I want to finish the stupid master bedroom and stop looking at those dang wires hanging out of our ceiling!

Jimmy disassembled the bed yesterday and I bought the stuff to paint it black today.

One year later.

I don't have any time left in the rest of the week so next week is 'repainting the walls white' week. And 'installing the curtain rod and hanging the drapes' week. And "putting the outlet covers back on' week. And it will be finished. And I will love it.

One year later.

Wordless Wednesday...

2011-04-06T22:09:00.001-04:00

On the counter when I got home from class tonight.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Spring Break...

2011-04-04T13:47:00.005-04:00

Remember our snowboarding trip over New Years Eve, when we left for the slopes in 60 degree weather?

Well, this past week was Quinn's Spring Break. We rented a little cabin in the Smoky Mountains and planned to be outdoors and hiking as much as possible. So, of course, we left in 30 degree weather with a forecast of nothing but rain for our entire stay.

There was a little brook that ran behind the cabin and we could hear it babbling from our seats in the hot tub.

A hot tub after hiking on a cold, wet day is like heaven! (That right there is a quality photo!)

Yes, I am wearing a down vest over top of a winter jacket. And yes, Bob is wrapped up in one of my sweatshirts.

But we didn't care.

We got to see this...

and this...

and this...
and this...
and this...
and lots more that I don't have the time nor the patience to upload right now.

We decided hiking in the rain was fabulous because the streams and waterfalls were so much fuller than in the summer.

We also played Scrabble, Simon, the Mad Libs card game, Rush Hour, Left Right Center, and several other games I'm forgetting.

And since sitting around the campfire outside at night was out of the question, we also ventured into Pigeon Forge and saw the stage show of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Sigh. I love that musical. I've seen it in Cleveland, Chicago and now Pigeon Forge and have loved every single show.

I'm so glad things don't have to be perfect for things to be good.

Some overdue creativeness...

2011-03-23T12:23:00.003-04:00

I hadn't created anything in a long time.

I think we, as humans, were meant to move our bodies and to create. I can tell when my body has not exercised enough. And I get that same cranky feeling when I haven't created anything in a while.

Quinn and I have learned to finger knit and we made these to send to my sister for her birthday. She doesn't read this blog, so she won't know what we've been up to.

How cute are these?

They are so flipping simple to make. Quinn whipped out her first flower in about 10 minutes. You can hardly even make a mistake. I'd say the solid yarn is more forgiving than the variegated yarn but Quinn was pretty insistent that we buy that skein of multicolored yarn.

How about me, tossing out words like variegated and skein?

We went for a walk and found the twigs. I bought a bag of rocks (something is so wrong about that) at Walmart, and they cover the green foam block that the sticks are poked into at the bottom of the vase. They would look super cute in a terracotta pot too.

This is what my family room has looked like for the last couple of days. I even left it like that overnight!

I know!

Getting creative is good for me.

I found the idea originally at this blog. She links the video tutorial. Warning - if you are feeling the least bit inadequate in your creativity, your parenting, or your organizational skills do not, I repeat DO NOT go to this blog. It's a blog from the cutest girl with the cutest son. She does homeschool Montessori preschool with him. She has one of the nicest Montessori environments I've ever seen - in a room in her home. Seriously nicer than some schools I've been into. She took an online Montessori course and has some interest in Waldorf thrown in there somewhere too. She posts awesome photos of her classroom works and they are super creative. I just want to fly Bermuda and take a vacation in their "classroom".

Yes, Bermuda.

I know. I kind of hate her too.

Random presents...

2011-03-21T09:23:00.004-04:00

I'll take a random bouquet of flowers on a random weekday in March over a planned present on a calendar occasion any day! Because, anyway, how many of those are there anymore - birthday, Christmas, anniversary, Mother's Day, Valentines Day, Sweetest Day, Girls with Blue Eyes Day...

I have the best husband ever.

I'm evolving...

2011-03-18T08:08:00.002-04:00

into a flounder.

Seriously.

Behold my asymmetricalness.

My spell check claims that isn't a word, but the photo above would suggest otherwise.

Could my eye socket be migrating?

Will my left eye soon be in the middle of my forehead?

Is this how cyclops start out?

I'm really not kidding. My eyes used to be even. The people I've forced to stare at me straight on have claimed that they "can't even tell." What a bunch of liars from Liarsville. You can totally tell.

Off to join the circus.

Crushing on Alfie Kohn...(edited a bit)

2011-03-15T19:17:00.005-04:00

This past Saturday I spent the day at a Montessori conference and fell in love.

I admit to digging on smart people. I don't consider myself one. I just know how to listen to them and read their stuff. I am impressed by research and smart people quoting other smart people. So it didn't get any better than almost seven hours of listening to Alfie Kohn.

I felt like jumping from my chair and shouting a few amens and more than a few preach its! (Here's where I admit to attending my fair share of Rod Parsley events back in the day.) My brother was speaking my language. It's just so rare to have all of the rambling thoughts that roll around in my head, and that I am often afraid to share, being assembled, making sense, and coming out of someone else's mouth. Buddy is not afraid to go against the grain and challenge the status quo.

If you are a parent, or an educator, or know someone who is, or are interested at all in education, you MUST acquaint yourself with Alfie. We're on a first name basis now. Your life and your view on our nation's system of education will never be the same. He has a fair amount to say on parenting, and rewards and punishments too. Be prepared to rethink everything you ever thought on those subjects.

Here is a list of some of his lectures and articles:

THE DEADLY EFFECTS OF "TOUGHER STANDARDS": Challenging High-Stakes Testing and OtherImpediments to Learning

PERFORMANCE VS. LEARNING: The Costs of Overemphasizing Achievement

OVERHAULING THE TRANSMISSION MODEL

ON BRIBING STUDENTS TO LEARN: Second Thoughts About A's, Praise, Stickers, and Contests

CHOICES FOR CHILDREN: From Coercion to Community

FROM DEGRADING TO DE-GRADING: Basic Questions About Assessment

THE CASE AGAINST COMPETITION

TEACHING CHILDREN TO CARE

THE (PROGRESSIVE) SCHOOLS OUR CHILDREN DESERVE

CHALLENGING STUDENTS . . . AND HOW TO HAVE MORE OF THEM

THE HOMEWORK MYTH

MOTIVATION FROM THE INSIDE OUT: Rethinking Rewards, Assessment, and Learning

THE DEADLY EFFECTS OF "TOUGHER STANDARDS"

BEYOND BRIBES AND THREATS: Realistic Alternatives to Controlling Students’ Behavior

UNCONDITIONAL PARENTING: Beyond Bribes and Threats

RAISING REBELS: Helping Kids to Challenge the Status Quo

PUSHED TOO HARD: Parenting in an Achievement-Crazy Culture

Other possible lectures involve adaptations of the presentations for educators listed above -- for example, what parents need to know about . . .

homework: why there's no benefit to making kids work what amounts to a second shift, and what we can do to reclaim family time

motivation to learn: why grades and other rewards prove counterproductive

progressive education: why it makes more sense than traditional instruction

competition: why all our children ultimately lose in the race to win - at home, at school, and at play

By now, you know of my love of the Montessori philosophy of education. My daughter is completing her fifth year at her Montessori school and she is not concerned about doing her work to "get all A's" and there's no Honor Roll to be found. There are precious little rewards and punishments in her classroom. She is assigned next to no homework (what is given is given more as time management and the review of old skills than to work on additional classwork and new skills, etc.) and has never been given a test to study for. She's never had her "card pulled" or her name on the board as a punishment - because there is no such system. Children are dealt with as individuals and crowd control is not the goal.

I don't mind that her education looks nothing like mine did when I was a child. It's a bit nerve wracking at times, I'll admit, but I think doing things differently always is.

If you're intrigued at all, go to Alfie's website and check him out - along with some of his books.

And just try not to crush on him too.

I dare you.

Putting off work...

2011-03-07T19:26:00.000-05:00

I have a presentation to plan for and visual aids, handouts, and a reference list to create. So I'm giving myself three hours to hang out on the internet, run on the treadmill, eat lunch, and knock a few things off my To Do List around the house before I dig in to school work.

Here's the inspiration for today's post:

This is how Quinn likes her salad. She likes the vegetables separated. So before I throw the vegetables all in one bowl, I put a bunch in piles on her plate. I feel like this is some kind of Piagetian experiment in conservation. How does she not realize she'd be eating a lot less vegetables if she just ate it from the mixed up bowl?

My non-food loving child. She takes after me.

In theory.

In practice, she makes great choices with her food. Last night she had salmon and asparagus and rice. All while I was inwardly gagging at the fact that it was even on the table and amazed that I was the one who put it there.

I think I've said it here before - I have crippling issues when it comes to food. But I refuse to pass those on to my daughter. I have come miles, but I have light years to go.

I was so terrified about the topic when I had Quinn that I would actually schedule appointments with her pediatrician to talk to him about feeding Quinn and how to avoid what I hear about so often - my child will only eat chicken nuggets and pizza; my child won't eat vegetables; my child won't eat what's being served if it isn't something he likes; I need to pack special food for my child when we eat elsewhere; dinners at our house are always such a struggle, etc., and etc., and etc.

The best thing about Quinn's pediatrician is that he loves to talk. So he would take Quinn's temperature and look in her ears. Then we would spend the rest of the appointment talking about the best way to raise a healthy eater. It was like therapy to me and I would often go home, put Quinn down for a nap and cry - mostly for the little Julee in me that never learned this stuff from the start.

Realize the things mentioned below may sound super strange to you. But for someone with so much baggage tied to food, it has been a life saver.

Basically, in our house anyway, food is not to be tied with emotion. Period.

That was like hearing about Jesus Christ for the first time.

Rare is the person who can control emotional eating - whether overeating or restrictive eating. There are some out there. But not many.

In our house, food is nutrition. We eat when we're hungry. We stop eating when we're full.

Rewards and punishments have NO place in the same universe as food.

In our house, you have complete control over what you put in your mouth. No one should EVER be forced or "made" to eat food. Not even "just try a bite". Begging, pleading, demanding, coercing - none of that.

As far as Quinn is concerned, we are not happy when she eats, nor are we sad if she doesn't. Seriously - no emotion. She is not eating for us. She is eating for herself and for her health. Period.

Jimmy and I have a few well worn phrases when it comes to the above. Quinn has heard them hundreds of times since she has been old enough to sit at the table and process language. This has taken so much effort and practice on our part. The key is absolute consistency. We still work on it. This has not been easy or natural at all for either of us. I mean serious effort.

Dinner is dinner and that is it. You can choose to eat what's served, or you can choose to not eat it. Simple as that. You don't get to have an alternate meal made for you.

In earlier years, Quinn chose to not have meals more times than I can count. And she's still alive. We'd simply cover her meal and put it in the refrigerator. If she decided she was hungry before bed, she was invited to finish her meal. We'd nonchalantly trot out the old, "If you're hungry, your meal is still available."

I am not kidding when I say this took years of Quinn testing us, Quinn being unhappy about this, Quinn probably being really hungry some nights, Quinn figuring the whole thing out, Quinn learning about making choices, etc.

There was a stretch of time where Quinn was developing a really bad attitude at dinner time. She'd ask what was for dinner then spend the rest of the evening ticked off about whatever it was. Then we'd nonchalantly trot out the old, "You are welcome to have your bad attitude in your bedroom where you don't inflict it on the rest of the family. We'd like to continue our dinner in peace." And there were times she'd leave the table and go upstairs. Eventually, she learned to control her attitude even in the face of salmon and asparagus.

Today, she has a great attitude about trying foods. A good understanding about how food should work for her body. A healthy knowledge of snacks and where they belong in her day. Great pride in her own ability to decide for herself and make her own choices and weigh the pros and cons of those choices. And a decent control over her attitude when she doesn't like something.

I, on the other hand, am still drowning in the struggle. But that's a story for another day. And I don't think this is necessarily the end. And it's not puppies and rainbows 100% of the time but for now, I will be super proud of equipping Quinn early for a life different than mine when it comes to food.

***Also inspired by this post from Leah. I know Leah mostly inside my computer. But she is the much loved friend of one of my much loved friends, and I am strangely attracted to her blog about food. Check it out.

Ghost Town...

2011-03-06T21:13:00.002-05:00

I feel like I should just shut this blog down. I've been terrible about writing, and even more terrible about taking photos. I just looked through my 2011 photo file and there was hardly anything new in it.

This is Quinn from last weekend. We served at the Kids Against Hunger Million Meal Weekend where we helped package over a million meals to be delivered to Haiti. Good stuff there.

Since then, it's been a nicely busy week. I am enjoying keeping busy more than I thought I would. My body, however, would beg to differ. I've been sick the last two weekends in a row. But I've got another nicely busy week coming up and don't have time to be sick.

I have thought several times over the last while, "Oh, I should write about that..." and then just never manage to do it. Not that I'm THAT busy, but I do spend much less time at my computer when I don't have all the time in the day to sit at my computer!

Funny how that works.

So, March is looking fun. I start tennis lessons this Wednesday! I actually took tennis as a PE course my first year in college and got a C. Yes, a C! My only C in my entire college career. And I haven't forgotten it over the last 26 years. I will get an A this time.

Quinn's Spring Break is early this year. The last week in the month. We just started planning a little trip. I need to get on that. I always soooo look forward to just me, Jimmy, and Quinn getting away together. We're heading as south as we can get. I need the sun and temperatures above 50 degrees. And a hot tub. And some trees. And some hiking trails. And, and, and...

And I will take photos and have something to talk about when we get back.

Have a wonderful week, blog reading people. I'm glad you're here, even when I so rarely am anymore.

Wordless Wedesday - by my friend, Parker...

2011-03-03T08:39:00.001-05:00

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Miracles still happen...

2011-02-27T17:11:00.003-05:00

Olive showed great interest in Bob when she came to live with us. We think she must have had a good dog friend in her earlier life. Bob showed no particular interest in any of the cats.

Olive, who is scared of most everything, tries to seek out Bob. Bob, who also came to us in quite a nervous condition, just tries to stay away from the cats.

Olive was sitting with me the other night and decided to move off my lap and snuggle with Bob.

Bob was too afraid to move.

Olive even put her paw in between Bob's paws.

This picture makes my heart happy.

Merry Christmas in February...

2011-02-25T08:58:00.004-05:00

Remember how we planned to celebrate a little bit of the Christmas holiday all year long in 2011?

Well, it seems it's just as hard to fit those things in during the other eleven months of the year as it is to cram it all into December.

The plan for January was to deliver our late Christmas cards. The photos I planned to use to make the cards didn't print well so I threw out those 75 photos and printed out a Christmas letter using that photo on the computer. I delivered the ones I had addressed to our friends in the neighborhood, and that's as far as I got.

I threw the other 40 or so away the other day. They had been sitting on my desk, pushed aside in order to write papers and lesson plans and research for assignments.

The plan for February was to make fudge and deliver it to all of our favorite people. I have a super simple recipe that makes decent fudge and I make it every year. Quinn was all excited and we've been talking about it all month.

Here the ingredients sit.

I decided to start working instead of planning enough time to actually MAKE the fudge.

And here it is, the 25th. Our Christmas day in February. And I am home sick on the couch. With over $50 of fudge ingredients mocking me from the kitchen.

This is really driving home a point I'd rather not have to consider.

Celebrating Christmas, even deciding to keep it in the forefront of your heart and mind all through the year, is not about the cards and the giving away of the fudge. Those things are great if they happen. But stuff is going to get in the way of the best of plans - even if those plans are in February. And I have to just deal with it.

I hate dealing with it.

Celebrating the gift of Jesus is hard to mindfully do on a daily (even monthly) basis. Even when you know it's not about the stuff. It's totally a heart issue.

But I'm still going to plan something for March. Even if it greatly pains me. I hate to see my ideas die a sad death.

But I don't mind the lessons in the process.

Where I belong...

2011-02-18T21:47:00.003-05:00

I was offered the opportunity to work with one of my classmates when her school needed to hire another Montessori teacher for two days a week. So I'll be working with her on Thursdays and Fridays for the rest of this school year.

I love working with children in a Montessori environment. It's the exact opposite of how I spent my other fourteen years as a teacher.

And I really, really, really love it.

It feels like coming home.

From The Tao of Montessori, by Catherine McTamaney:

"We find Montessori because it speaks to the empty space in our teaching, because it is consistent with how we always thought children should be treated or with how we hope the world will one day work. We find Montessori because it allows us to revere childhood, or it satisfies some emotional need that traditional models did not. We find Montessori first as a set of beliefs and secondarily as a specific method to implement them."

and because this is the focus of Montessori, from the same book:

"The children we serve have voices as quiet as ours once were. They may not be able to ask directly to be heard, but they will ask in as many different ways as their growing minds can imagine. They will ask for your observation by drawing attention to themselves, or ask you to look the other way by drawing none. When you can find yourself in the children in front of you, hearing their messages becomes easier, when you see the misbehavior as a desperate message instead of an affront, you can offer the child the compassion you deserved in your own childhood. Compassion is redemption."

It has been like finding something I've known all along, but never knew. And it fits. And it's healing. And it makes sense.

And I love it.

Valentines...

2011-02-13T17:51:00.002-05:00

Jimmy, Quinn and I spent that last hour or so making these together.

Quinn's classroom had a mock government activity where they proposed ideas for a "Day". The proposed "bills" were voted on, and the idea with the most votes was passed along to the principal who signed "Movie Day" into a law.

Movie Day is being held tomorrow as part of the class Valentine party and "A Charlie Brown Valentine" is being shown.

So we made little Charlie Brown filmstrip Valentines with a picture of a scene from the movie. Quinn had no idea this was supposed to look like a filmstrip. She has no idea what a filmstrip is. So I'm sure the significance of making this Valentine to go along with their Movie Day will be lost on everyone in the class. Possibly even her teachers. I keep forgetting I'm much older than they are.

Sigh.

On becoming that person...

2011-02-10T09:57:00.004-05:00

Here's part of our group. We're missing five people from this photo. They were either taking a lesson or were at the spa!

Jimmy's on the phone. Talking to his mom and learning that Quinn was running a pretty high fever! She ran a fever the whole weekend we were gone, and then for two days after we got back. Not a great feeling having a wonderful time while our daughter is sick a whole state away.

Here's the photo I posted to facebook from the slopeside bar, with Fish's caption, "Wonder how the kids are doing..." It was funny at the time, but then...see above.

One of my biggest fears is being *that* person. And I think I could be *that* person about a lot of things. You know, the person who always has the odd opinion/conviction. I am generally odd girl out in most conversations. And I'm really trying to curb my need to constantly make myself heard over the valid convictions of others.

Lately though, I feel the need to work Montessori into every conversation and I get the feeling other people are keeping their eyes from rolling too far back into their heads and thinking, "Oh great, you mentioned something about education and now Julee's going to blow a gasket!"

There were two conversations this weekend about education that took all I had to not participate in. My friend really wasn't looking for my dissertation on how I view the entire educational system today, he was just relaying something that bothered him about his son's teacher's expectations. I, of course, held a completely opposite opinion about the situation then he did, and he already found someone to agree with him, so I continued to stuff my face with perogies and carmelized onions and nod.

Another conversation was about grades. I kept chomping away, and ate more perogies and gave myself heartburn. It could have been the perogies. It could have been the rising blood pressure I was stifling.

Education is not so much about education anymore. It's about money, and convenience, and money, and test scores, and money, and...

Okay, I'm recognizing that glassy-eyed look.

I'll stop.

Seven Springs, 2011...

2011-02-07T13:40:00.003-05:00

We tried out a new ski resort this past weekend for our annual ski trip. I've been going on this trip with this group of friends for 14 years. Well, not the same group. Some people have come and some have gone. But it's generally the same core group of people I met all those years ago - and you'd be hard pressed to find an easier group of people to hang out with.

We've been going to Holiday Valley in New York, but decided to go to Seven Springs in Pennsylvania this year, and Oh. Em. Gee. I absolutely loved it here. (West Coast skiers can go ahead and laugh, but I'll make it out west one of these years and be blown away, I'm sure.)

We had crazy weather on Saturday. We started out the day in a downpour. Of rain. It only lasted a little bit but because the temperatures were hovering right around 32 degrees, it would occasionally start to sleet. And as the day went on, the precipitation became more icy and riding the lift was like standing in front of a dart board.

Add to that, we were enveloped by a cloud, so that visibility was next to nothing.

I have never snowboarded in conditions like this before. It was super fun and scary at the same time. We would start off down the slope without even being able to see the slope. We weren't familiar at all with the runs, and several runs shot off in different directions. We had to try our best to keep track of everyone. We tried to stick as close as possible to Fish, who was wearing a bright yellow jacket, but if we were even a bit slower than him, he would disappear in front of us. We couldn't even see the trail markings to know whether we were on a blue, green, or black half the time.

Here's Jimmy and me, near the bottom of a run at a clearer moment. I'm kind of digging the self shot feature on my phone.

I kind of pride myself on not being a pansy when I snowboard. I pretty much refuse to complain about the temperature, how bad I fall, or how tired I am. I figure I'm out on the slopes doing something I absolutely love. A bad day on the slopes is still better than a good day not. Jimmy and I like to be the last people back at the lodge. I hate when we break for lunch and I don't really like to stop to use the bathroom either. I'll go down a black even if I'm dead tired, and I'll try to keep up with the best in the group.

It's all about perspective.

Snowboarding on Saturday was not for sissies. It was more for people who like to stand under their lawn sprinkler in their full snow gear (which for me is a pair of lycra track pants under a pair of thermal pants, under a pair of fleece pants, under my snow pants, and an underarmour tank top under a long sleeve wicking top, under my fleece pullover, under my snow jacket, a gator scarf around my neck, hat and gloves), in freezing temperatures, riding lifts with biting wind and skin piercing sleet. My snow clothes are so old they are no longer water proof, which added about ten soaking wet pounds to carry around, and I was soaked through all those layers to my skin.

Jimmy and I had just come out from our lunch break, leaving half of our group behind because they didn't want to go back out in the pouring rain, we were riding a lift alone and laughing, because - when else would this ever be considered fun? When else would I ever willingly do what we were doing? And consider it fun.

I can't wait to go back.

Blogging from my phone...

2011-02-03T17:35:00.001-05:00

I'm trying out my new application for Blogger for Droid. And the self shot feature on my phone's camera. And I'm going to try to grow my bangs out. What do you think?

I think I'm not fourteen anymore and shouldn't have bangs OR take self shots with my camera.

And they all said Amen.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Facebook...

2011-02-03T15:28:00.003-05:00

The sun was out today. And there was much rejoicing!

This has nothing to do with today's post though. Today's post is about facebook - which I never seem to be able to type correctly the first time. It comes out either favebook, or facebbok, or facebokk.

Well it's kind of about facebook.

I used to teach elementary school. I stopped teaching ten years ago when I got married and moved away from where I had worked for thirteen years. I was 21 when I graduated from college and started teaching in my first classroom - my students were 8 and 9 years old, in the third grade. They are now 30 and 31 years old! The students I had in my last year of teaching have graduated high school by now. So weird. They are all frozen in my mind as little elementary students.

I taught two years of third grade, seven years of fifth grade, and four years of fourth grade in a traditional public school in a district that was deemed to be in Academic Emergency by Ohio state standards.

And I loved it.

But this post isn't really about that either.

A few years ago I heard that a student I had in one of my last years teaching fourth grade had been killed in Iraq. I sat at my computer, stunned by the email. I could instantly recall Eric - exactly how he looked and how his voice sounded. He was one of the sweetest little boys.

I didn't hear about it until his memorial service had already been held back home. I tried several times to write a letter to his mother. She was one of those mothers I try to be now that my daughter is in school. She was always volunteering, the first one to return paperwork with a signature, she was on top of things, and she always brought me the best homemade sugar cookies for every occasion. I had Eric's brother the following year, so I got two years worth of sugar cookies and a supportive parent.

I could never bring myself to write her and now I cringe that I didn't.

She sent me an invitation to friend her on facebook, so I finally got to say what I wished I had said years ago. But I still wish I had done that on my own.

So, then I spent about an hour searching names of some of my more memorable students of the hundreds I taught.

Oh, how I wish I hadn't done that.

One of my sweet girls, from the last year I taught, graduated a year and a half ago and has two children. Her page was nothing but strings of curse words, and fights with other girls about guys, and with guys about child support and hooking up - and that was just what I could decipher in between all the symbols, acronyms, shortened words and words lengthened for emphasisssssssss.

Seriously. I had no idea people printed such trash on facebook! I was pretty horrified. And then pretty depressed about the whole thing.

And then I thought I should comment on one of her more awful posts (her page was public), something to the effect of, "Ummm, R, this is your fourth grade teacher! Your grammar always did kind of suck, but I expect more out of your spelling!"

But I won't.

But I really want to.

Just try not to be happy when you listen...

2011-01-31T20:27:00.003-05:00

This song makes me feel sunny.

We're getting ready for Snowpocalypse 2011. Just in time for our annual ski trip this weekend.

If I get a vote, I'd like it to become Spring on our drive home on Sunday. I want my tank tops and shorts. I want my flip flops and I want to run outside again. I want the sun and the pool. And I want to be warm.

Until then, I shall play this song and dance around my house in five layers of sweatshirts and wool socks and slippers, and pretend I'm out riding my bike in some beautiful scenery on a gorgeous sunny day.

Go ahead. Play it loud. And I dare you not to sing along.

January 25th...

2011-01-25T12:18:00.003-05:00

Merry Christmas in January!

It's been a month since Christmas, and I still miss it.

I miss it for the reason it's a holiday in the first place. I love how we talk about Jesus and we focus on Jesus and we're all about Jesus.

Then the hustle and bustle of the holiday ends and most people start focusing on getting things back to normal and getting back into routine. We're glad to get the decorations down and organized and back into storage. We're glad to put December and the previous year behind us and start anew.

And we forget about Christmas.

This year, for us, December flew by. It generally feels like that, but this especially. I think about all the stuff I love to do that centers around the holiday and I didn't get to do very much of it this year at all.

So I decided we'd stretch it out this year. Truly make Christmas last throughout the year, like Elvis implores us. We're having Christmas every month on the 25th over here! We're going to do something we love to do during the Christmas season without that rushed feeling and all the chaos that goes along with it.

My January Christmas activity was going to be to send out Christmas cards (which I haven't gotten around to doing the last two years) with this sentiment, but I picked up the photos I ordered (the one above - only our second attempt to get a shot on Christmas Eve and we called it good) and they were super duper dark and you couldn't even make out Bob in my lap. But I'm not going to stress about it. I may print this off and stuff it the mail anyway. It's the thought, not the perfect packaging.

Right?

So Merry Christmas in January! Have a wonderful 2011, with a bit of December in every month!

I bring you this break in winter...

2011-01-24T11:07:00.003-05:00

to come dream about the beach with me. Here are a few of the houses we are checking out for our trip this summer with our friends (and I use the term "we" loosely as my friend Liz did all the work):

http://reservations.emeraldislerealty.com/property.php?id=DMNFH&nt=7&ci=2011-07-23

http://www.midgettrealty.com/rental/house.html?ID=295&User=alpha

http://www.midgettrealty.com/rental/house.html?ID=188&User=alpha

Oh, I can hear the ocean now and feel the sand and the sun. You do not have to convince me there is a God. He is in the dunes and the shells and a run along the beach in the morning. Heaven!

Randomness...

2011-01-19T11:12:00.003-05:00

1. I have taken exactly one photo so far in 2011.

Words fail me.

Except to say that Jimmy was quite excited about this gift. It's a little gadget that allows you to do the Mentos and Diet Coke experiment from a remote location. You'd think someone had given him a chunk of gold.

And also to say I am fundamentally against controlling what Quinn wears. But still. Where is that child's mother?

And one last thing. I could not pass up the cuteness of Ugg boots in size 1. I mean seriously. How cute are they? The sad thing - Quinn wouldn't know an Ugg boot from a furry boot from Target. But she likes that she can wear them without socks.

2. I'm kind of lying when I say words fail me.

3. My husband is pretty much the best human being I know. He typed up three pages of reasons he loves me. And he used a pretty small font. Single spaced. And it's not September 24th or June 16th (my birthday and our anniversary). It was just a random day in January. And that makes every word mean even more. I'm glad he doesn't express himself simply because the calendar tells him he better come up with something.

4. He also made me a little photo album with one of my favorite pictures from our wedding day on the front. Instead of photos, he filled the little plastic sleeves with pledges and promises. He is most excellent at putting his heart in writing and I pale in comparison.

5. I am excelling at wasting time lately. I have two half-finished assignments on my desk and I'm taking a break writing random thoughts and publishing them on the internet. I also wrote a haiku on facebook.

6. Quinn was counting on her friend spending the night on Friday, but she isn't able to until next Friday. So I told her I'd have a sleepover with her and we're spending the night in the basement on Friday.

7. Now that I wrote #5, I'm feeling much guilt and am going back to my assignments.

8. I apologize for wasting your last five minutes.

Bless the beasts...

2011-01-12T10:06:00.006-05:00

and the children (but that part is another post).

I love this dog. Sweetest dog on earth, let me tell you. Hands down.

I'm not really a dog person. But I'm certainly more than dog tolerant, like my friend, Leah describes it. Reluctant dog owner would be more accurate. Because I love dogs. I think they are amazing and fabulous creatures. I just didn't want to live with one. Didn't want to take care of one.

And then came Bob. Bob has changed my days. Mostly because I am 90% responsible for Bob. Feeding her, exercising her, wiping off her feet when she comes in the house, vacuuming more, cleaning the furniture more, etc. I can't just throw on my shoes and rush out the door. I had to learn to build time into my schedule to let Bob out, then take her down to her kennel and give her a treat and lock her in before I leave. It's just minutes, really. But still a change I had to make. The first thought in my head every morning is how I need to get out of bed and let Bob outside.

Bob follows me around and is never more than two feet from me. She's under my desk as I type. She is as attached to me as the hair on my head. And she is very nervous when I'm out of her sight.

I don't know much about Bob's background at all. I know she's around two years old and was surrendered to the shelter by a man who was in possession of 77 dogs on his property. I don't know how long she was there or what she suffered. But as Bob and I were walking through the kitchen and down the hall the other day (it's like we're always in some kind of parade together), I reached down with an empty paper towel tube and tapped her on her little stubby tail. The kind of tap I used to give Quinn on her nose after I'd give her a kiss. I can't imagine Bob even felt it.

But she hit the floor. And I've never seen a dog do this but she didn't roll over onto her back, she tried like hell to scramble away while on her belly with her feet flailing on the hardwood and her eyes wild and her ears pinned back.

I instantly felt like throwing up.

Then yesterday, I had to pick up Quinn and her two friends from school since our district had a snow day and buses weren't running. (Quinn goes to school in a neighboring district that hadn't canceled school). Bob loves to ride along so she got into the front seat and we took off down the road. I had to use the windshield wiper. Just once. Bob ducked down and looked frightened at the motion. The second time I used the wipers, Bob sat glued as flat as she could make herself to the seat back. Then she kept frantically trying to get into the back seat. I couldn't let her back there because I was almost to school and the kids would have to climb in there. I tried petting her and reassuring her as best I could, but I had to use the wipers one more time or risk not being able to see anything. After the wipers ran again, Bob ducked and her mouth hung open and she started panting and heaving. It was awful and horrible and lots of other pathetic words.

I pulled into carline behind a long line of cars so I had Bob crawl into my lap. She slunk over to me and I opened the window for her. She was shaking like a leaf. I was willing myself not to cry in car line. I looked ridiculous enough holding my dog like a baby with the window down in the freezing cold.

Once the kids got in the backseat and got settled, I let Bob crawl back and she got as much into Quinn's lap as she could.

This story is getting long. I didn't think it would take this long to tell. Go ahead and go if you need to and come back later.

We got home and she came in the house. I went down to the basement to get the laundry with Bob right behind me as usual. It took a minute to get the clothes out of the dryer, but when I turned around Bob had peed on the floor - which she NEVER does. And she was sitting not looking at me and wagging her tail like she does with 90% of her day. (Ninety is a good percentage when trying to make a point).

If I were God, and it will be abundantly clear as to why I am not when I finish this sentence, I would make a special kind of hell where all of the formerly abused animals on earth would be in charge and their abusers treated exactly how they once treated their animals. And I would not feel one ounce of remorse.

Can I get an Amen?

And Olive says, Amen, in her formerly silenced voice that is getting stronger every day.

And because I love me some Karen Carpenter -

Bless the beasts and the children
for in this world they have no voice
they have no choice

Bless the beasts and the children
for the world can never be
the world they see

Light their way
when the darkness surrounds them
give them love
let it shine all around them

Bless the beasts and the children
give them shelter from a storm
keep them safe
keep them warm

Wordless Wednesday...

2011-01-05T13:19:00.000-05:00

A picture worth a thousand words...

2011-01-04T19:53:00.006-05:00

This photo brings me great joy.

I was organizing my digital photo file from 2010 today (one 2011 goal - check). I came across this photo of a note Quinn left for Jimmy after she cleaned out one of his desk drawers for him.

Jimmy is many, many wonderful things. He is not, however - how shall I say this kindly - neat or organized. He is apt to shove as much as he can into a drawer and if it closes, all is good. He stuffs things in boxes and stuffs those boxes into corners, and I'm not quite sure what happens after that. Because whatever is in those drawers and boxes is no longer accessible even if still necessary and usable. Jimmy solves that problem by going to get another of whatever it is he can't find. And then ends up with something else to shove away in a drawer or box - having wasted money in the process.

Living like this gives me major anxiety. I am not exaggerating when I say I *need* my surroundings to be neat and organized. I want to open a drawer, or a closet door, or the storage room, etc. and see only things that are necessary to my life. And I want to see them neatly stacked and organized. If it's clutter, it doesn't last long here.

So this photo warms my heart.

Quinn went through one of Jimmy's desk drawers because she was looking for a rubber band and couldn't find one, nor could she close the drawer again after searching. So she cleaned it all out, then created a list of the contents in the drawer so it wouldn't be a mystery any longer.

I know I say it all the time, but oh, how I love that little girl.

And I love my husband as well, clutter and all.

Unexpected...

2011-01-03T09:47:00.006-05:00

It's hard to make winter plans in Southern Ohio.

Our New Year's Eve plan was made weeks in advance of December 31st. When we had two snow days off school in one week. When we were shoveling and sledding and the world was white.

We learned there was celebrating to be had at a little ski resort about an hour from us where we ski locally in between our trips to New York and Pennsylvania. There was skiing until 1:00 AM, a ski patrol torch parade countdown, and fireworks at midnight. We made plans. We reserved a hotel room and lift tickets.

And it warmed up to around 60 degrees, without any snow on the ground and not a flake in the forecast, as we were packing our car. Rain was forecast, starting around 11:00 PM, forming thunderstorms right at midnight.

It could not have been a worse situation.

People laughed when they heard our plans. They gave us that sad look when they told us what to expect. We tried to keep a positive outlook since we were looking forward to it so much. We kept smiles on our faces as we were pulling into the parking lot in front of the lodge in a downpour.

But there was snow on the slopes (even though they were surrounded by Spring) and it was paid for. We waited until the rain stopped and headed to the tubing hills at 4:30.

We had SO MUCH fun!

You wouldn't think ski resort when you hear Southern Indiana, but this little place did it right. The little tube park was great. We dragged our tubes (well, Quinn took the easy way up a few times) up the magic carpet and flew down the lanes for close to three hours. We laughed and raced and hooked our tubes together and videotaped ourselves and just had a great time. The rain had completely stopped and it was mild and pleasant. We didn't feel like we had to run in and warm up at all.

It was dark when we went in to get skis for Jimmy and Quinn. Jimmy put on skis for the first time in ten years to help Quinn if she needed it. It's super hard to be on a snowboard and be of much help to someone on skis. I've never skied, so Jimmy got the short straw automatically.

After a rough start remembering her beginning lessons from last year, and a super huge spill where Quinn hit the icy snow with no mittens, losing a ski and both poles, we hit a groove and Quinn was off.

We'd get off the lift at the top of a slope and she'd say, "Can I go?" I'd still be getting my boots into the bindings on my board and she'd be halfway down the hill.

You can strap skis on just about any kid and give them a push at the top of a slope and they'd get to the bottom. But that's not skiing. We would not get off the green hill until we knew Quinn was in control, knew how to slow herself down, knew how to maneuver around people who had fallen on the hill, could watch all directions around her, etc. It's hard for her to know that skiing should be more in her head and less in her body getting to the bottom of a slope.

Because we made the mistake of getting on a blue hill after one run down a green. I was at the top of the slope watching Quinn picking up speed, looking like she had no control, and heading straight toward a tree. I don't know how she managed to miss it. She made it over to the other side of the slope which had moguls groomed all the way down. She went over a few of those without meaning to. It wasn't long after that when she hit the ground. Hard. But I was happy it happened, because in Quinn's mind, she was skiing! Back to the green hill we went!

We took about an hour break in the main lodge and rested a bit while a DJ was playing fun music. We went back out until it was getting close to 11:30. Quinn was still going strong. She kept insisting she wasn't tired. I was even slowing down a little. It was hard to believe she was still awake, much less putting forth a pretty big physical effort for as many hours as she had.

We went in just before midnight to return the skis. Then we headed back out of the lodge to ring in the New Year. The countdown to midnight began with the ski patrol coming down the main hill with torches.

Then fireworks started. (This was a firework that had already blown off to the side, but it was the best photo of the bunch. It's hard to photograph fireworks!)

We could have gone back out skiing or to the tubing hill for another hour, but we were all pretty tired at that point and pretty impressed we made it skiing until midnight!

We made it back to our hotel and slept hard. Then we got a late checkout and had breakfast and watched the Rose Bowl Parade in bed. Then we went to the Newport Aquarium and Red Robin on our way home before we crashed on the couches - feeling a wee bit sore.

I'm so happy it was a mild evening and there was no rain and thunderstorms. What was looking like a huge disappointment in the making turned out to be my most favorite New Years Eve so far!

Happy 2011, everyone!

Not yet ready for it to go...

2010-12-30T12:23:00.003-05:00

We spent the morning listening to Christmas music and baking cookies.

We took down and packed up the trees in the guest room, Quinn's room, and the entry way yesterday. It always makes me sad. It really feels like we were just putting them up.

I like spending days with Quinn home. Aside from snuggling together under blankets every day, sometimes twice a day, reading chapters together from Anne of Green Gables, we haven't done anything special. We've run errands and we've cleaned out the toy and craft bins in Quinn's room and closet.

I love cleaning things out. Quinn is learning. We do it Clean Sweep style. We make piles of things to Keep, Throw and Give. We've got a TON of things to give that Quinn no longer uses or plays with. And I inwardly chuckle at the things she puts back in her bins to keep - a plastic baggie, filled with bird feathers, that "might come in handy some day!"

You just never know when you might have need for that baggie full of bird feathers.

Detoxification...

2010-12-28T19:45:00.002-05:00

The alternate title for this post is "Oh how I hate thee, Diet Coke!"

I am detoxing once again from the hideous grip of its evilness. I've done it twice before - about eighteen years ago and then again about four years ago. Both times, I swore I'd never let myself get into the position to have to go through this again.

Yet here I am. Spending the week feeling like my skull is going to either cave inward on itself or explode outward with shocking force. All the while, I drag myself from place to place in an exhausted stupor.

I have such an all or nothing personality. It just doesn't support the occasional Diet Coke with a pizza, etc. Because that's how it started. Again. And then I needed a Diet Coke on Wednesday nights during class. And then I drank it all the time and forgot what water was. And then I just felt like crap all the time and couldn't figure out why.

And even going back to water isn't without difficulty. Once I start drinking water again, I crave it. I feel like I'm dying of thirst all day long. I drink tons of water and am in the bathroom every half hour.

Thankfully, I don't have a photo to illustrate this.

I do, however, have a photo of Jimmy and Quinn on the back porch. Quinn, of course, has a pad of paper and a pencil.

They are discussing and drawing the blueprint for the creation pictured below.

And I've really got no words for that.

Worth Checking Out...

2010-12-23T16:31:00.003-05:00

My sister sent Christmas cards this year through the Food for the Poor program. The cards were embellished with banana bark which is naturally shed by banana trees and gathered and handcrafted into Banana Bark Cards. The proceeds from the cards benefit the poor families who create them and provide hope for a brighter future to people in impoverished Carribean countries.

Check out the website. There are a ton of creative ways to gift people with hope this Christmas - by providing them with materials and assistance in supporting themselves.

My mother-in-law gave a monetary gift to the Beads of Courage program in place of buying Christmas gifts for us. The program is a resilience-based intervention designed to support and strengthen the protective resources in children coping with serious illness. Through the program children tell their story using colorful beads as meaningful symbols of courage that commemorate milestones they have achieved along their unique treatment path. There are specific Beads of Courage Program Bead guides for cancer, cardiac conditions, burn injuries, and serious illness. All Program bead guides were developed in collaboration with experts in the field (nurses, doctors, child life specialists and social workers) so that each bead guide would reflect meaningful acknowledgment of a child's treatment journey.

I love this kind of gift as we really want for nothing - and the gift usually ends up giving to us at the same time. While checking out the website, I clicked on the Info for Artists section. They accept donations of beads. Making things with polymer clay just happens to be one of Quinn's interests right now. So we're going to make polymer clay beads and donate them to the program to be given to children after their treatments.

These things bring me joy!

Whoa...

2010-12-16T22:01:00.004-05:00

Gosh that previous post is kind of schizophrenic. It went from being weary, to Christmas things, to cat bellies, to my daughter, to my tree. Sorry.

I'm posting when I feel emotional and that will stop!

After I say this.

There is just so much need in this world. So many people in awful situations. So much devastation. I can't detach emotionally from it, but then that causes problems in itself. Especially at this time of year. I want to participate in every cause, donate to every person in need, volunteer at every place that's got a spot for a volunteer, and it's just impossible. Impossible. And then I vacillate between feeling paralyzed and doing nothing or way too invested. Seriously, this is not me patting myself on the back. It's me super mad at myself.

And then there is that HUGE disconnect where I spend money on a velvet Santa dress for my dog.

I'm not trying to be funny. I hate the irony in it. And I might just be done with this oversharing thing called the internet.

But who am I kidding? I'll be back tomorrow to tell you something about my cats, I'm sure.

Weary...

2010-12-16T17:03:00.003-05:00

I'm feeling weary. I've been one big fat whiner here lately haven't I?

In the past couple of years, I have vowed to not let holiday stuff make me crazy. And it really isn't. It's the letting go of the crazy that is kind of making me crazy.

I know what you're thinking. Making you, nothing - you are already there!

This year my class and my homework were thrown into the mix. And I've been subbing a lot. So I've just had to let some things go.

And if you know me, you know I don't like to let things go. It's just not in my general nature.

Four trees instead of seven. I didn't even bring the decorations up for the dining room. I wanted to make my Mom a gift, and I have all the supplies, but I don't want to rush it and hate it. So it's not getting done. I wanted to do a cute scavenger hunt/white elephant type game with gifts for my family this weekend. They're coming here, but there won't be a cute game. Haven't had the time to even think about it. There won't be a great table decorated with thoughtful holiday stuff. Even the gifts I chose for my nieces and nephews seem like afterthoughts, even though they weren't. Just uninspired, I guess. I had an idea for the gifts I wanted to give my friends, the girls I go to class with, the girls I sub with, my daughter's teachers. Quinn and I were going to make them. I ordered the supplies and they arrived yesterday. Completely not what I wanted. I can't even use them. There will be no cute little thoughtful gifts for a dozen people I wanted to give little gifts to. I didn't do Christmas cards for the second year in a row. We didn't do a fun dinner for our friends or are neighbors like we have in the past.

And you know what - all of that is great! None of it is what Christmas is about and none of it is even necessary. It's just what I wanted to do. But I'm glad I'm letting it go. But I hate letting it go.

Is this the best kitty belly ever?

I think yes. And it makes me smile. And I need to smile. I'm feeling everyone's burdens and am quick to cry these days.

I love this girl.

I am sad because somewhere along the line she has become unhappy with her appearance. And it breaks my heart. She said she "doesn't smile good." I asked her if anyone ever said anything to her to make her feel this way. I told her I know how it feels and I'm sorry she feels it too.

It's rare to get a picture of her smiling a natural smile. So I cherish this photo.

And don't mess with my girl. It's one of a few areas where I could be capable of physical harm to another. I even kick myself when I catch myself doing it.

Our family room tree. I love it. We stuff it with ornaments and lights and candles and icicles.

And Quinn makes the topper every year. I always thought I wanted to do one of those fancy spray toppers you see everywhere now. But I can't imagine anything I'd want on the top of my tree more than the cardstock creations she makes.

For the last three years, she's made a star and two angels. We never give her ideas. She just comes downstairs with something. This year it was this.

Baby Jesus in a manger. With his tongue sticking out. And I love it.

And I'm going to work on the rest.

And I have tears in my eyes. I fear I can no longer continue saying I'm not a crier. That is an obvious falsehood (Quinn and I have been reading Anne of Green Gables and loving the vocabulary).

I want to save the world. But I guess that role has been filled by someone else, long before I ever started feeling weary.

Thank you, Baby Jesus (eight pound ten ounce Baby Jesus with the golden fleece diapers).

Sorry. I couldn't resist. That makes me smile too.